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Thumbs up for Soule Bowl, thumbs down for Moline stoplights

Thumbs up for Soule Bowl, thumbs down for Moline stoplights

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To the best of my knowledge:

— It looked like fun. Who knew it wouldn't bounce?

— What happens in Alpha stays in Alpha.

— The only essential oil I need is the stuff McDonald's uses to cook my french fries.

— Every teenage male should have to answer to "Beavis.''

— The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

— A coffeehouse Phi Beta Kappa, talking to a frustrated young woman who had been wronged by her boyfriend, said: "Don't worry, young lady, he is going down like a fat kid on a see-saw.'' I laughed.

— You can never have enough garden-grown tomatoes resting on a windowsill.

— There will be a new I-74 bridge and Rock lsland will have a Walmart before Moline gets rail service.

— I'd rather have Dennis Rodman dealing with North Korea than Captain Combover.

— When I grow up, I want to be as smooth as Tom Selleck.

— East Moline's renovated Soule Bowl football field is off the charts. Hats off to the folks who decided to make the move to a synthetic-turf field and use money from the 1-cent sales-tax increase to fund it. The auditorium and football stadium at Geneseo are also top-of-the-line products, and also funded by a sales-tax increase.

— "Great, another fine day ruined by reality,'' said a nice lady in line at a Moline Hy-Vee.

— If the wheels of a certain mower come up missing because a certain someone likes to start his mowing a shade past 7 on a Sunday morning, it is not my fault. No matter what the video reveals.

— A good nap always shortens the workday.

— Today is a perfect day to leave me alone.

— The fast-food world should take a cue from the staff at the Moline Popeyes on how to treat customers.

— The coolest line of the week is the ESPN graphic showing viewers the hometown of tennis star Madison Keys: Rock Island, Ill.

— Salad is no substitute for pizza.

— After 30 years of seeing the same commercial, no one cares whether we believe it's butter or not.

— Please remember that the horse I rode in on didn't do anything wrong.

— It is official: Moline has reclaimed the national title for the city with the most poorly timed stoplights, taking back the crown from Bettendorf.

— Sunny and 72 degrees is my kind of summer.

— Today is not the day I solve all my troubles with grace and maturity. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.

Columnist John Marx can be reached at 309-757-8388 or Jmarx@qconline.com

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