John is a columnist and reporter for Dispatch-Argus-QCOnline.com.

APTOPIX France US Netherlands WWCup Soccer

United States' Megan Rapinoe, center, celebrates the team's victory with teammates after the Women's World Cup final soccer match between US and The Netherlands Sunday at the Stade de Lyon in Decines, outside Lyon, France.

To the best of my knowledge:

• My life is one tent shy of a circus.

• "Just because you are offended, doesn't mean you are right.'' Best thing I heard last week.

•  Whomever is in charge, please pay the U.S. women's soccer team's players the same as the men's team and stop the nonsense.

•  I know I am not the only person who unpacks in stages when returning home from a trip. 

•  Everyone has their own version of being 10 minutes away. Mine is I am about 10 minutes away from thinking about getting ready to go.

•  You create this classy hotel and outdoor venue in East Moline, but the only thing I remember about the development is "Cheapest Cig'' on the marquee of the convenience store out front. Come on, folks. It's also the first thing I see when getting off the I-74 Bridge in Bettendorf.

•  I have never seen the dude who owns Culvers cooking an over-priced fast-food burger in the Quad-Cities.

•  Illinois had better fix every inch of bad road statewide with this gas-tax scam or it's going to get ugly.

•  There is no way the state's best hamburger is in Kewanee. I can name you five local eateries that can top it and another five backyard grill masters who are better.

•  No alderman should possess a "purchase'' card, and it doesn't matter which city they serve. And "conducting city business'' is a poor comeback for taxpayers buying your lunch. You don't need to bribe citizens with food to talk to you about their concerns in your ward.

•  If you make $18 million annually, you can run out a ground ball.

•  Moms are the one thing robots can never replace.

•  The world has reached a new level of sad when Mad Magazine stops publishing a hard copy version of its iconic publication.

•  If you are good at something you shouldn't have to do it for free.

•  Now hiring is redundant.

•  "I'll get to it tomorrow,'' is one of the great labor-saving devices of today.

•  Haters are gonna hate. And they will make sure to share with you their displeasure, even if you are having breakfast with your family.

•  How come there are no modern-day ghosts? Seriously, only dudes or dudettes from the 1700 or 1800s haunt?

•  Frustration is not knowing whether the hotel shower curtain goes on the inside or the outside.

•  There is not a better view in professional baseball than a box seat at Modern Woodmen Park with a view of the Mississippi River.

•  The local First Tee program is first-rate, and Sara Cross is a tremendous leader and ambassador for it.

•  Why do I always stand next to the guy at the party who hits you when he laughs?

•  A college student sharing morning coffee with her family, said: "Dating is just me interviewing a future parent for my dog.'' 

•  "You cannot play the victim when you created the problem,'' the trainer said to our workout group.

•  Being right is not as important as knowing when to shut up.

Columnist John Marx can be reached at 309-757-8388 or Jmarx@qconline.com.


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