Chuckles for June 2014

June 02
Wisdom of Dad...
Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

June 04
You know you're not a kid anymore when...
You and your teeth donít sleep together.

June 06
Grandpa Says...
Don't judge folks by their relatives.

June 09
What the boss really means in those performance evaluations
A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

June 11
Wisdom of Dad:
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger

June 13
Wisdom of Dad:
Never lend anything you canít afford to lose.

June 16
There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

June 18
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

June 20
That girl said she met me at a Vegetarian restaurant, but I never met herbivore.

June 23
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

June 25
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

June 27
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

June 30
Never say, "Sorry, we don't have what you're looking for." Always say, "I just sold the last one the other day."

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, Oct. 20, the 293rd day of 2014. There are 72 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The store of Devoe and Crampton was entered and robbed of about $500 worth of gold pens and pocket cutlery last night.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Michael Malloy was named president of the Tri-City Stone Cutters Union.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dewitte C. Poole, former Moline newspaperman serving as vice consul general for the United States government in Paris, declared in a letter to friends that the once gay Paris is a city of sadness and desolation.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for the construction of an $80,000 wholesale bakery at 2011 4th Ave. were announced by Harry and Nick Coin, of Rock Island. It is to be known as the Banquet Bakery.
1964 -- 50 years ago: An application has been filed for a state permit to organize a savings and loan association in Moline, it was announced. The applicants are Ben Butterworth, A.B. Lundahl, C. Richard Evans, John Harris, George Crampton and William Getz, all of Moline, Charles Roberts, Rock Island, and Charles Johnson, of Hampton.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Indian summer is quickly disappearing as temperatures slide into the 40s and 50s this week. Last week, highs were in the 80s.

(More History)