Chuckles for June 2014

June 02
Wisdom of Dad...
Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

June 04
You know you're not a kid anymore when...
You and your teeth donít sleep together.

June 06
Grandpa Says...
Don't judge folks by their relatives.

June 09
What the boss really means in those performance evaluations
A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

June 11
Wisdom of Dad:
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger

June 13
Wisdom of Dad:
Never lend anything you canít afford to lose.

June 16
There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

June 18
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

June 20
That girl said she met me at a Vegetarian restaurant, but I never met herbivore.

June 23
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

June 25
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

June 27
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

June 30
Never say, "Sorry, we don't have what you're looking for." Always say, "I just sold the last one the other day."

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Tuesday, Sept, 30, the 273rd day of 2014. There are 92 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: The ARGUS Boys are very anxious to attend the great Democratic mass meeting tomorrow and we shall therefore, print no paper on the day.
1889 — 125 years ago: H.J. Lowery resigned from his position as manager at the Harper House.
1914 — 100 years ago: Curtis & Simonson was the name of a new legal partnership formed by two younger members of the Rock Island County Bar. Hugh Cyrtis and Devore Simonson..
1939 — 75 years ago: Harry Grell, deputy county clerk was named county recorder to fill the vacancy caused by a resignation.
1964 — 50 years ago: A new world wide reader insurance service program offering around the clock accident protection for Argus subscribers and their families is announced today.
1989 — 25 years ago: Tomato plant and other sensitive greenery may have had a hard time surviving overnight as temperatures neared the freezing point.

(More History)