Chuckles for June 2014

June 02
Wisdom of Dad...
Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

June 04
You know you're not a kid anymore when...
You and your teeth donít sleep together.

June 06
Grandpa Says...
Don't judge folks by their relatives.

June 09
What the boss really means in those performance evaluations
A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

June 11
Wisdom of Dad:
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger

June 13
Wisdom of Dad:
Never lend anything you canít afford to lose.

June 16
There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

June 18
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

June 20
That girl said she met me at a Vegetarian restaurant, but I never met herbivore.

June 23
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

June 25
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

June 27
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

June 30
Never say, "Sorry, we don't have what you're looking for." Always say, "I just sold the last one the other day."

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, Sept. 17, the 260th day of 2014. There are 105 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: We are told league merchants have paid no attention to the prohibition on selling ammunition, but continue to sell just as before the order was issued.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The Rev. R.F. Sweet, rector of Trinity Episcopal Parish, left for the East to visit his boyhood home in Boston before attending the general convention of the Episcopal Church in New York.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dr. E.A. Anderson was named to succeed Dr. E.L. Kerns as head physician of the Modern Woodmen of America, and moved to Rock Island from Holdingford, Minn.
1939 -- 75 years ago: One week late, because of the outbreak of war, Dr. E.L. Beyer resumed his work as professor of romance languages at Augustana College. Dr. and Mrs. Beyer left Germany on the last train to the Belgian border.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Employees in Turnstyle stores in Moline and Davenport will vote Oct. 2 in an election set up by the Chicago regional office of the National Labor Relations Board. Employees will vote either for the Retail Clerk International or for no union.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Rock Island High School is considering a step to help teen moms stay in school and get their diploma. The school board is expected to vote tonight on instituting an on-site child care center.

(More History)