Chuckles for May 2014

May 05
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

May 08
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
Sing along with the Muzak.

May 12
I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life, but I didn't have the thyme.

May 14
Wisdom of Dad:
Never lend anything you canít afford to lose.

May 16
Wisdom of Dad:
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.

May 19
Thoughts On Aging...
You're the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.

May 21
Thoughts On Aging...
You're smiling all the time because you can't hear a thing anyone is saying.

May 23
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

May 27
If you give someone a piece of your mind, are you left with peace of mind?

May 30
If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, July 30, the 211th day of 2014. There are 154 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: After Sept. 1, every small box of matches will be required to have a 3 cent duty Lincoln stamp on it, and every large box will be one cent for every 100 matches.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Rock Island residents had contributed a total of $1,293 to the American Red Cross for the Johnstown flood relief fund.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Capt. Clark Means, new darkhorse twirler for the ARGUS staff, was in great form in his initial contest as a mound laborer. The result was that THE ARGUS trimmed the Union 6-5.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Hunter and Humprey Moody, young Decatur, Ill, brothers, lack only a few hours of establishing a new world light plane endurance record.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Gates of the 110th annual Mercer County Fair swing open tonight at Aledo for a full week of day and night activity. More that $36,000 will be paid in premiums and race purses.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The baseball field carved out of the cornfield near Dyersville, Iowa, continues to keep dreams alive for hundreds of visitors. Tourists from 26 state and France have visited Dan Lansing's farm to see the baseball diamond seen in the hit movie "Field of Dreams."

(More History)