Chuckles for May 2014

May 05
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

May 08
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
Sing along with the Muzak.

May 12
I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life, but I didn't have the thyme.

May 14
Wisdom of Dad:
Never lend anything you canít afford to lose.

May 16
Wisdom of Dad:
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.

May 19
Thoughts On Aging...
You're the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.

May 21
Thoughts On Aging...
You're smiling all the time because you can't hear a thing anyone is saying.

May 23
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

May 27
If you give someone a piece of your mind, are you left with peace of mind?

May 30
If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, Aug. 20, the 232nd day of 2014. There are 133 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Quite a number of Negroes have lately been brought here by abolition offers returning from the army in violation of the laws of the state.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Miss Tillie Denkmann, of Rock Island, was making plans to accompany a Davenport family on a tour of Europe.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German advance into Belgium was going apparently without serious check. The American ambassador at Berlin published a denial of the charge that Americans had been ill-treated in Germany.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Seventy-two members of Rock Island High School's 1939 graduating class are preparing to enter college — 34 of them at Augustana.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the oldest buildings in Milan, which for a number of years has housed the Milan Hotel, will be razed to make way for a modern, two-story office structure.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some are blaming it on the sudden influx of insects and the extreme humidity. Still others say the invasion was inspired by a recent movie. But whatever the reason, the Quad-Cities is swarming with bats.

(More History)