Chuckles for April 2014



April 02
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.
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April 04
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.
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April 07
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 - it will.
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April 11
Thoughts On Aging
You're having trouble remembering simple words like...
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April 14
Thoughts On Aging
You know you're not a kid anymore when...you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
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April 16
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.
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April 18
Confucius Say...
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
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April 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
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April 23
What if they held a meeting - and nobody came? Would nothing still get done?
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April 25
Next time you're at a restaurant, order a diet water.
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April 28
Grandpa Says...
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
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April 30
Grandpa Says...
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
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Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, Sept. 17, the 260th day of 2014. There are 105 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: We are told league merchants have paid no attention to the prohibition on selling ammunition, but continue to sell just as before the order was issued.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The Rev. R.F. Sweet, rector of Trinity Episcopal Parish, left for the East to visit his boyhood home in Boston before attending the general convention of the Episcopal Church in New York.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dr. E.A. Anderson was named to succeed Dr. E.L. Kerns as head physician of the Modern Woodmen of America, and moved to Rock Island from Holdingford, Minn.
1939 -- 75 years ago: One week late, because of the outbreak of war, Dr. E.L. Beyer resumed his work as professor of romance languages at Augustana College. Dr. and Mrs. Beyer left Germany on the last train to the Belgian border.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Employees in Turnstyle stores in Moline and Davenport will vote Oct. 2 in an election set up by the Chicago regional office of the National Labor Relations Board. Employees will vote either for the Retail Clerk International or for no union.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Rock Island High School is considering a step to help teen moms stay in school and get their diploma. The school board is expected to vote tonight on instituting an on-site child care center.




(More History)