Chuckles for April 2014



April 02
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.
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April 04
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.
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April 07
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 - it will.
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April 11
Thoughts On Aging
You're having trouble remembering simple words like...
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April 14
Thoughts On Aging
You know you're not a kid anymore when...you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
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April 16
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.
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April 18
Confucius Say...
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
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April 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
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April 23
What if they held a meeting - and nobody came? Would nothing still get done?
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April 25
Next time you're at a restaurant, order a diet water.
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April 28
Grandpa Says...
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
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April 30
Grandpa Says...
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
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Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, Aug. 21, the 233rd day of 2014. There are 132 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Sheriff McLaughlin had the misfortune to dislocate his right shoulder some days ago when his carriage upset. He is now able to walk about but has a very sore shoulder.
1889 -- 125 years ago: A kindergarten was started in the downtown district of Rock Island with the Misses Dodie Hawes and Grace Knowlton as teachers.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Pope Pius X died in Rome.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Rock Island's new theater was named Esquire.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The J.I. Case Co. plant in Bettendorf will add from 150 to 200 employees by Jan. 1 a spokesman for the company said today. The Bettendorf Works today had a payroll of 1,350, but an increased production schedule will require additional people.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illowa Council Boy Scouts of America reached and passed its campaign goal in a drive that began 14 months ago by raising more than $2.2 million for the expansion of Loud Thunder Reservation near Andalusia.






(More History)