Chuckles for April 2014



April 02
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.
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April 04
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.
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April 07
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 - it will.
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April 11
Thoughts On Aging
You're having trouble remembering simple words like...
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April 14
Thoughts On Aging
You know you're not a kid anymore when...you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
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April 16
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.
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April 18
Confucius Say...
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
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April 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
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April 23
What if they held a meeting - and nobody came? Would nothing still get done?
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April 25
Next time you're at a restaurant, order a diet water.
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April 28
Grandpa Says...
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
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April 30
Grandpa Says...
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
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Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, July 25, the 206th day of 2014. There are 159 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Walter Jones, of Co, F 23rd Ky, volunteers, lost a satchel on the Camden road, yesterday, containing his papers of discharge from the army.
1889 -- 125 years ago: E. W. Robinson purchased from Mrs. J.T. Miller the livery stable on the triangle south of Market square.
1914 -- 100 years ago: A municipal; bathing beach was advocated at the weekly meeting of the city commission by commissioner Rudgren, who suggested the foot of Seventh Street as an excellent location.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Floyd Shetter, Rock Island county superintendent schools, announced teachers hired for nearly all of the 95 rural and village grade schools in the county.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The mercury officially reached the season's previous high of 95 about noon today and continued upward toward an expected mark of 97.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Fort Armstrong hotel once the wining and dining chambers of Rock Island's elite is under repair. Progress is being made though at a seeming snail's pace to return the building to a semblance of its past glory for senior citizen's homes.








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