Chuckles for March 2014

March 03
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

March 05
How many Paul Reveres does it take to screw in a light bulb? One if by hand, two if by feel.

March 07
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.

March 10
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them."

March 12
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

March 14
A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.

March 17
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day.

March 19
What if they held a meeting - and nobody came? Would nothing still get done?

March 21
My friend is dieting. He says weight gain is due to water retention. My weight gain is due to ice cream retention.

March 24
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

March 26
One. How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

March 28
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

March 28
t's always I before E. Isn't that weird?

March 31
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes three bulbs.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, Aug. 20, the 232nd day of 2014. There are 133 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Quite a number of Negroes have lately been brought here by abolition offers returning from the army in violation of the laws of the state.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Miss Tillie Denkmann, of Rock Island, was making plans to accompany a Davenport family on a tour of Europe.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German advance into Belgium was going apparently without serious check. The American ambassador at Berlin published a denial of the charge that Americans had been ill-treated in Germany.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Seventy-two members of Rock Island High School's 1939 graduating class are preparing to enter college — 34 of them at Augustana.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the oldest buildings in Milan, which for a number of years has housed the Milan Hotel, will be razed to make way for a modern, two-story office structure.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some are blaming it on the sudden influx of insects and the extreme humidity. Still others say the invasion was inspired by a recent movie. But whatever the reason, the Quad-Cities is swarming with bats.

(More History)