Chuckles for March 2014

March 03
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

March 05
How many Paul Reveres does it take to screw in a light bulb? One if by hand, two if by feel.

March 07
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.

March 10
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them."

March 12
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

March 14
A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.

March 17
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day.

March 19
What if they held a meeting - and nobody came? Would nothing still get done?

March 21
My friend is dieting. He says weight gain is due to water retention. My weight gain is due to ice cream retention.

March 24
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

March 26
One. How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

March 28
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

March 28
t's always I before E. Isn't that weird?

March 31
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes three bulbs.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Tuesday, July 29, the 210th day of 2014. There are 155 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Col. H.F. Sickless informs us that there will be new organization of troops in this state under the call for more men.
1889 -- 125 years ago: James Normoyle arrived home after graduating from West Point with honors in the class of 1889. He was to report to Fort Brady, Mich., as second lieutenant in the 23rd Infantry.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Austria Hungary declared war on Serbia. Germany and Austria refused an invitation of Sir Edward Grey to join Great Britain at a mediation conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Dr. William Mayo, the last of the three famous Mayo brother surgeons, died at the age of 78.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the biggest horse shows of the season was held yesterday at Hillandale Arena on Knoxville Road under the sponsorship of the Illowa Horsemen's Club.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Davenport is like a gigantic carnival this weekend with the Bix Arts Fest taking over 12 square blocks of the downtown area. A festive atmosphere prevailed Friday as thousands of people turned out to sample what the Arts Fest has to offer.

(More History)