Chuckles for February 2014

February 03
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

February 05
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

February 07
I intend to live forever - so far so good.

February 10
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.

February 12
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?

February 14
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

February 17
Why does round pizza come in a square box?

February 19
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

February 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated:
You ski uphill.

February 24
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

February 26
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

February 28
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Saturday, Aug. 2, the 214th day of 2014. There are 151 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Because of the National Fast, no paper will be issued from this office tomorrow.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Attracting considerable attention is a sunflower stalk 15 feet high and still growing in the yard of Dr. C. Speidel on 23rd Street in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The municipal bathing beach proposition came up again at the city commission's meeting and a proposition passed, provided that a locker room be constructed at the foot of 7th Street for the accommodation of the bathers.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for erecting a $14,000 warehouse to replace the frame structure at the rear of the Augustana Book Concern were announced.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Hours for tours of the new Deere & Co. Administrative Center on John Deere Road will be changed, effective Monday.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Tuesday night at the Great Mississippi Valley Fair in Davenport the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band gave its fans more than they possibly could have expected. The band took the stage at 9:07 p.m. and didn't leave until 10:40.

(More History)