Chuckles for February 2014

February 03
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

February 05
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

February 07
I intend to live forever - so far so good.

February 10
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.

February 12
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?

February 14
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

February 17
Why does round pizza come in a square box?

February 19
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

February 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated:
You ski uphill.

February 24
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

February 26
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

February 28
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.

(More History)