Chuckles for February 2014

February 03
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

February 05
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

February 07
I intend to live forever - so far so good.

February 10
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.

February 12
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?

February 14
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

February 17
Why does round pizza come in a square box?

February 19
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

February 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated:
You ski uphill.

February 24
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

February 26
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

February 28
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Tuesday, Oct. 21, the 294th day of 2014. There are 71 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The weather is discouraging for our great Democratic rally tomorrow, but never mind that. Let our Rock Island people show they can make a big procession themselves, rain or shine.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Apparatus arrived for drilling an artesian well on the premises of George Warner's Atlantic Brewery.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army continued its attacks on the allies line near the Belgian coast.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The farm home of Mr. and Mrs. Gus Zachert northwest of Buffalo Prairie, burned to the ground.
1964 -- 50 years ago: WVIK-FM, noncommercial educational radio station at Augustana College, will return to the air tomorrow. The station operates at a power of 10 watts at 90.9 megacycles on the frequency modulation band. The station is operated with a staff of 92 students.
1989 -- 25 years ago: An avenue of lights, 13 Christmas trees strung with more than 44,000 sparkling lights, will expand the Festival of Trees beyond the walls of RiverCenter in downtown Davenport in mid-November.

(More History)