Chuckles for February 2014

February 03
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

February 05
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

February 07
I intend to live forever - so far so good.

February 10
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.

February 12
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?

February 14
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

February 17
Why does round pizza come in a square box?

February 19
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

February 21
Here's how to tell if you're overcaffeinated:
You ski uphill.

February 24
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

February 26
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

February 28
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, Oct. 1, the 274th day of 2014. There are 91 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: It is rumored in the streets that the 13 negroes sent to Quincy on the Moline quota were refused. We think this must be a mistake.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Harvey McKenna, of Detroit, billiard player matched to play Wizard Schafer in New York in January for the world championship, was a professional friend and manager, Billy Catton in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Levi Cralle, former Rock Island county sheriff, had come from his farm near Mitchell, S.D. to visit friends in the city.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Work is being rushed on the new high school building in Orion to replace the one destroyed by fire last winter. Classes are being held in churches.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Rehearsals for the 84th season of the Handel Oratorio Society chorus will begin at 7:30 p.m. Monday on the stage of Centennial Hall, Augustana College.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Rock Island City Council's plan announced this week to have the federal government vacate Valley Homes public housing and move residents to Arsenal Courts to reduce density may not be feasible.

(More History)