LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

Chuckles for January 2014



January 02
Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
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January 06
Money flies when you're having fun.


January 08
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
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January 10
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
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January 13
Drilling for oil is boring.
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January 15
Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
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January 17
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!
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January 20
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
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January 22
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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January 24
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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January 27
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
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January 29
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
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January 31
Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.
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Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.






(More History)