Chuckles for January 2014
Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
Money flies when you're having fun.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.
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