Chuckles for January 2014



January 02
Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
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January 06
Money flies when you're having fun.


January 08
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
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January 10
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
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January 13
Drilling for oil is boring.
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January 15
Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
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January 17
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!
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January 20
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
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January 22
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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January 24
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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January 27
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
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January 29
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
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January 31
Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.
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