Chuckles for December 2013

December 02
There's no future in time travel.

December 04
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

December 06
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?

December 09
There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.

December 11
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

December 13
Can you play sole music with a shoe horn?

December 16
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.

December 18
In football, why does the running back run forward?

December 20
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.

December 26
Two fish are in a tank. One says the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

December 30
I've told you a million times not to exaggerate!

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Tuesday, July 29, the 210th day of 2014. There are 155 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Col. H.F. Sickless informs us that there will be new organization of troops in this state under the call for more men.
1889 -- 125 years ago: James Normoyle arrived home after graduating from West Point with honors in the class of 1889. He was to report to Fort Brady, Mich., as second lieutenant in the 23rd Infantry.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Austria Hungary declared war on Serbia. Germany and Austria refused an invitation of Sir Edward Grey to join Great Britain at a mediation conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Dr. William Mayo, the last of the three famous Mayo brother surgeons, died at the age of 78.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the biggest horse shows of the season was held yesterday at Hillandale Arena on Knoxville Road under the sponsorship of the Illowa Horsemen's Club.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Davenport is like a gigantic carnival this weekend with the Bix Arts Fest taking over 12 square blocks of the downtown area. A festive atmosphere prevailed Friday as thousands of people turned out to sample what the Arts Fest has to offer.

(More History)