Chuckles for October 2013



October 02
"Doctor, I think I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor says, "Sit in the waiting room, I'll deal with you later."
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October 04
Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.
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October 07
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
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October 09
Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
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October 11
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do" is the longest sentence?
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October 14
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
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October 16
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
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October 18
A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
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October 21
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
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October 23
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals. Iím L I V I D.
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October 24
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals. Iím
L I V I D.
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October 24
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals.
Iím L I V I D.
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October 25
You never know what real happiness is until you get married, and then it is too late.
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October 25
"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him!"
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October 28
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
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October 30
Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!
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Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, Aug. 23, the 235th day of 2014. There are 130 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Telegraph reports state that, about 6 o'clock on the evening of the 20th, Quantrill, with about 800 of his thieves and robbers, surrounded Lawrence, Kan., and burned it to the ground.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Newton Beer's production of "Lost in London," which had a successful run for three seasons, was presented at Harper's Theater.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army commanded by Fran Duke Albrecht of Wurtemburg defeated the French army at Neufchmtenu.
1939 -- 75 years ago: John Deere Harvester Works in East Moline is starting a four-story, $104,000 addition to the combine assembly building.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Short Hills Country Club held onto its lead yesterday despite a rally by host Davenport Country Club and claimed the team title in the Sunshine Cup golf series.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Quad-Citians can look forward to more excitement and fun at this year's Rock Island Labor Day parade at 9:30 a.m. Sept 4, say organizers. This years theme is "Celebrate Rock Island."






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