Chuckles for October 2013



October 02
"Doctor, I think I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor says, "Sit in the waiting room, I'll deal with you later."
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October 04
Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.
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October 07
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
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October 09
Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
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October 11
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do" is the longest sentence?
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October 14
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
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October 16
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
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October 18
A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
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October 21
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
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October 23
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals. Iím L I V I D.
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October 24
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals. Iím
L I V I D.
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October 24
My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals.
Iím L I V I D.
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October 25
You never know what real happiness is until you get married, and then it is too late.
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October 25
"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him!"
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October 28
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
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October 30
Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!
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Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.








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