Chuckles for September 2013

September 03
In football, why does the running back run forward?

September 04
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

September 06
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

September 09
You never know what real happiness is until you get married, and then it is too late.

September 11
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.

September 16
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

September 18
How do they get the "Keep off the grass" sign on the grass?

September 23
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

September 25
When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I'm older, I don't need the W.

September 27
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

September 30
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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