Chuckles for January 2013



January 02
New Years Resolutions you Can Keep:
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
jokes.net/

January 04
What is black and white and blue all over?
A frozen Penquin!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 07
How do athletes stay cool during the games?
They stand near the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 09
How do bees brush their hair?
With a honey comb!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 11
How do start fire with two sticks?
Make sure one of the sticks is a match!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 14
What is the strongest vegetable in the world?
Muscle sprout!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 16
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 18
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For medical tweet-ment!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 21
What is the center of gravity?
v!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 23
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 25
If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
Really big hands!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 28
What's black, white and terrifying?
A math test!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 30
What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
The ape b c's!
kids.yahoo.com/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, July 25, the 206th day of 2014. There are 159 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Walter Jones, of Co, F 23rd Ky, volunteers, lost a satchel on the Camden road, yesterday, containing his papers of discharge from the army.
1889 -- 125 years ago: E. W. Robinson purchased from Mrs. J.T. Miller the livery stable on the triangle south of Market square.
1914 -- 100 years ago: A municipal; bathing beach was advocated at the weekly meeting of the city commission by commissioner Rudgren, who suggested the foot of Seventh Street as an excellent location.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Floyd Shetter, Rock Island county superintendent schools, announced teachers hired for nearly all of the 95 rural and village grade schools in the county.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The mercury officially reached the season's previous high of 95 about noon today and continued upward toward an expected mark of 97.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Fort Armstrong hotel once the wining and dining chambers of Rock Island's elite is under repair. Progress is being made though at a seeming snail's pace to return the building to a semblance of its past glory for senior citizen's homes.








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