Chuckles for January 2013



January 02
New Years Resolutions you Can Keep:
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
jokes.net/

January 04
What is black and white and blue all over?
A frozen Penquin!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 07
How do athletes stay cool during the games?
They stand near the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 09
How do bees brush their hair?
With a honey comb!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 11
How do start fire with two sticks?
Make sure one of the sticks is a match!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 14
What is the strongest vegetable in the world?
Muscle sprout!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 16
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 18
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For medical tweet-ment!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 21
What is the center of gravity?
v!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 23
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 25
If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
Really big hands!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 28
What's black, white and terrifying?
A math test!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 30
What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
The ape b c's!
kids.yahoo.com/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, Aug. 23, the 235th day of 2014. There are 130 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Telegraph reports state that, about 6 o'clock on the evening of the 20th, Quantrill, with about 800 of his thieves and robbers, surrounded Lawrence, Kan., and burned it to the ground.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Newton Beer's production of "Lost in London," which had a successful run for three seasons, was presented at Harper's Theater.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army commanded by Fran Duke Albrecht of Wurtemburg defeated the French army at Neufchmtenu.
1939 -- 75 years ago: John Deere Harvester Works in East Moline is starting a four-story, $104,000 addition to the combine assembly building.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Short Hills Country Club held onto its lead yesterday despite a rally by host Davenport Country Club and claimed the team title in the Sunshine Cup golf series.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Quad-Citians can look forward to more excitement and fun at this year's Rock Island Labor Day parade at 9:30 a.m. Sept 4, say organizers. This years theme is "Celebrate Rock Island."






(More History)