Chuckles for January 2013



January 02
New Years Resolutions you Can Keep:
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
jokes.net/

January 04
What is black and white and blue all over?
A frozen Penquin!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 07
How do athletes stay cool during the games?
They stand near the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 09
How do bees brush their hair?
With a honey comb!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 11
How do start fire with two sticks?
Make sure one of the sticks is a match!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 14
What is the strongest vegetable in the world?
Muscle sprout!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 16
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 18
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For medical tweet-ment!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 21
What is the center of gravity?
v!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 23
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 25
If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
Really big hands!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 28
What's black, white and terrifying?
A math test!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 30
What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
The ape b c's!
kids.yahoo.com/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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