Chuckles for January 2013



January 02
New Years Resolutions you Can Keep:
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
jokes.net/

January 04
What is black and white and blue all over?
A frozen Penquin!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 07
How do athletes stay cool during the games?
They stand near the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 09
How do bees brush their hair?
With a honey comb!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 11
How do start fire with two sticks?
Make sure one of the sticks is a match!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 14
What is the strongest vegetable in the world?
Muscle sprout!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 16
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 18
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For medical tweet-ment!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 21
What is the center of gravity?
v!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 23
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 25
If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
Really big hands!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 28
What's black, white and terrifying?
A math test!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 30
What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
The ape b c's!
kids.yahoo.com/

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)