Chuckles for January 2013



January 02
New Years Resolutions you Can Keep:
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
jokes.net/

January 04
What is black and white and blue all over?
A frozen Penquin!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 07
How do athletes stay cool during the games?
They stand near the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 09
How do bees brush their hair?
With a honey comb!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 11
How do start fire with two sticks?
Make sure one of the sticks is a match!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 14
What is the strongest vegetable in the world?
Muscle sprout!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 16
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 18
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For medical tweet-ment!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 21
What is the center of gravity?
v!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 23
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 25
If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
Really big hands!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 28
What's black, white and terrifying?
A math test!
kids.yahoo.com/

January 30
What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
The ape b c's!
kids.yahoo.com/

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Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, May 26, the 146th day of 2013. There are 219 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: The information called for in yesterday's Argus, in relation to thechild abandoned in Moline, by its mother two years ago, was furnished us last evening.The child was found by a Swede and has been kindly cared for.
1888 -- 125 years ago: The annual review and inspection of the Rock Island volunteerfire department took place today, and there will be a firemen's ball tonight.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Captain H.F. Young, former Mississippi river pilot, and T.W.Chapman left Rock Island today for Alaska to enter river service there.
1938 -- 75 years ago: Poppies were blooming today at the headquarters of the Rock Islandunit of the American Legion auxiliary at the Y.M.C.A. as the little red memorial flowers, which the people of Rock Island will wear in honor of veterans.
1963 -- 50 years ago: One hundred and fifty of the best show horses in Illinois and Iowaare expected to compete tomorrow for some $500 in trophies, ribbons and prize money inthe first major horse show of the season.
1988 -- 25 years ago: Moline Public Hospital presented blue ribbons to the winnersof a recent poster contest, held in conjunction with National Hospital Week. Utilizingthe theme of "You're Our Specialty," the following were grand prize winners: MindyBenson, Moline; Thao Dang, Moline; Gared Laux, Moline; John Murphy, Rock Island;Justin Pulford and Bennie Jo Starkey, Moline.




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