Chuckles for August 2012



August 01
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!kids.yahoo.com/

August 03
What do you call ham that you really want?
Pork-you-pine!kids.yahoo.com/

August 06
What kind of a garden does a baker have?
A flour garden!kids.yahoo.com/

August 08
What is the man in the moon's favorite drink?
Crater-ade!kids.yahoo.com/

August 10
What's the best way to make straight A's?
With a ruler!kids.yahoo.com/

August 13
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?onelinerz.net/

August 15
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!onelinerz.net/

August 17
What does baseball have in common with pancakes?
They both rely on the batter!onelinerz.net/

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 22
Why didn't the clam share it's pearls?
Because it was shellfish!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 24
What is a pie's favorite sport?
Pie Kwan Do!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 27
Why did a boy take a bale of hay to bed with him?
To feed his nightmare!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 29
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 31
What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?
They both have the same middle name!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, Oct. 1, the 274th day of 2014. There are 91 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: It is rumored in the streets that the 13 negroes sent to Quincy on the Moline quota were refused. We think this must be a mistake.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Harvey McKenna, of Detroit, billiard player matched to play Wizard Schafer in New York in January for the world championship, was a professional friend and manager, Billy Catton in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Levi Cralle, former Rock Island county sheriff, had come from his farm near Mitchell, S.D. to visit friends in the city.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Work is being rushed on the new high school building in Orion to replace the one destroyed by fire last winter. Classes are being held in churches.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Rehearsals for the 84th season of the Handel Oratorio Society chorus will begin at 7:30 p.m. Monday on the stage of Centennial Hall, Augustana College.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Rock Island City Council's plan announced this week to have the federal government vacate Valley Homes public housing and move residents to Arsenal Courts to reduce density may not be feasible.






(More History)