Chuckles for August 2012



August 01
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!kids.yahoo.com/

August 03
What do you call ham that you really want?
Pork-you-pine!kids.yahoo.com/

August 06
What kind of a garden does a baker have?
A flour garden!kids.yahoo.com/

August 08
What is the man in the moon's favorite drink?
Crater-ade!kids.yahoo.com/

August 10
What's the best way to make straight A's?
With a ruler!kids.yahoo.com/

August 13
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?onelinerz.net/

August 15
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!onelinerz.net/

August 17
What does baseball have in common with pancakes?
They both rely on the batter!onelinerz.net/

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 22
Why didn't the clam share it's pearls?
Because it was shellfish!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 24
What is a pie's favorite sport?
Pie Kwan Do!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 27
Why did a boy take a bale of hay to bed with him?
To feed his nightmare!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 29
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 31
What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?
They both have the same middle name!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Monday, May 20, the 140th day of 2013. There are 225 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: A petition is being circulated asking the city council to order awell bored in Market Square. It would be a great accommodation to the public.
1888 -- 125 years ago: At 1 p.m. on May 18 the Mississippi River flooded its banks atRock Island and destroyed the warehouse of the Rock Island Lumber Co. and damagedRock Island Arsenal power plant. Total loss is estimated at $100,000.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Residents of Sough Rock Island Township are circulating apetition favoring the annexation of that area to the City of Rock Island.
1938 -- 75 years ago: A group of state members of the National Grandmothers Clubmeeting in Rock Island are making plans to petition for the observance of a NationalGrandmothers Day.
1963 -- 50 years ago: Deere and Co. reported today that its U.S. and Canadian sales forthe first half of the 1963 fiscal year set an all time record of $323,716.628.
1988 -- 25 years ago: William G. Lawrence, first administrative director, has retired fromPECO Enterprises, Inc. Prior to his service at PECO, Mr. Lawrence was the civilianpersonnel officer at the Rock Island Arsenal.






(More History)