Chuckles for August 2012



August 01
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!kids.yahoo.com/

August 03
What do you call ham that you really want?
Pork-you-pine!kids.yahoo.com/

August 06
What kind of a garden does a baker have?
A flour garden!kids.yahoo.com/

August 08
What is the man in the moon's favorite drink?
Crater-ade!kids.yahoo.com/

August 10
What's the best way to make straight A's?
With a ruler!kids.yahoo.com/

August 13
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?onelinerz.net/

August 15
At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!onelinerz.net/

August 17
What does baseball have in common with pancakes?
They both rely on the batter!onelinerz.net/

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 20
What lies on the ground a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 22
Why didn't the clam share it's pearls?
Because it was shellfish!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 24
What is a pie's favorite sport?
Pie Kwan Do!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 27
Why did a boy take a bale of hay to bed with him?
To feed his nightmare!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 29
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

August 31
What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?
They both have the same middle name!
kids.yahoo.com/jokes

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, April 20, the 110th day of 2014. There are 255 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The attention of contractors is called to proposals for building a magazine. The building is to be erected on the south side of the island, above the railroad, nearly opposite Sinnit's ice houses.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Ladies patent leather tip shoes were selling for $3 at the M & K store, and men's spring overcoats were advertised at $7.50.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Fred Feuchter, of Davenport, was elected president of the Tri-City Post Office Clerks club, and Joe Goldsmith, of Rock Island, was named secretary treasurer.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mass vaccination of more than 1,600 employed of the Rock Island Arsenal has been ordered by Col. Norman Ramsey after a 13-year-old daughter of the Arsenal manager became ill with smallpox.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The 1964 Scout-O-Rama of the Sac-Fox Council of Boy Scouts closed a two-day session last evening at the Rock Island Armory with 5,000 paid attendance.
1989 -- 25 years ago: "From the horse and buggy days ... to this" said Mercer County Sheriff Marvin Thirtyacre, waving his hand to indicate the sheriff's department facilities at the new $1.5 million Mercer County Jail in Aledo.




(More History)