Chuckles for April 2012

April 02
What word is always spelled incorrectly?

April 04
What did one flea say to another?
"Should we walk or take the dog?"(

April 06
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage!(

April 09
Why are farmers so mean?
Because they pull ears off corn!(

April 11
What are strawberries when they are sad?

April 13
Why did the doctor lose his temper?
Because he didn't have any patients!(

April 16
What happened when the teacher tied the students' shoelaces together?
They went on a class trip!(

April 18
What has 50 heads and 50 tails?
50 pennies!(

April 20
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz!(

April 23
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!(

April 23
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!(

April 25
Where can you find 50 Cent and Eminem?
Ib between your sofa's cushion's!(

April 27
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling very well!(

April 30
Where does a turtle go when it is raining?
A shell-ter!(

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, April 21, the 111th day of 2014. There are 254 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The female sex seems to have gone crazy on the subject of dry goods. When high prices keep them from increasing their wardrobes, they turn to stealing. Yard goods, hats, shoes and other items are being picked up and carried home.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Members of Everts Commandery No. 18, Knights Templar, under Commander H.C. Cleaveland, marched from the Masonic Temple to Trinity Episcopal Church for their annual Easter services.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Nate Hultgren pitched the Augustana College baseball team to a 10-3 victory over Carthage, striking out 11 men and allowing only four hits.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Marvel Leonhardi, a Rock Island High School senior, was the winner of an essay contest on advertising sponsored by The Argus and Advertising Age, a national advertising publication.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Augustana College band drew a crowd of 1,200 people for its annual home concert in Centennial Hall. The size of the crowd was indicative of the fact the band is rapidly approaching the stature of the Augustana Choir.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A benefit to raise money for extracurricular activities in the Rock Island Milan School District will be April 27 at the Quad City Downs harness race track. People buying $17.50 tickets to the second annual "Night at the Quad City Downs" will be entitled to an evening of harness racing and dinner.

(More History)