Chuckles for April 2012

April 02
What word is always spelled incorrectly?

April 04
What did one flea say to another?
"Should we walk or take the dog?"(

April 06
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage!(

April 09
Why are farmers so mean?
Because they pull ears off corn!(

April 11
What are strawberries when they are sad?

April 13
Why did the doctor lose his temper?
Because he didn't have any patients!(

April 16
What happened when the teacher tied the students' shoelaces together?
They went on a class trip!(

April 18
What has 50 heads and 50 tails?
50 pennies!(

April 20
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz!(

April 23
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!(

April 23
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!(

April 25
Where can you find 50 Cent and Eminem?
Ib between your sofa's cushion's!(

April 27
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling very well!(

April 30
Where does a turtle go when it is raining?
A shell-ter!(

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, July 30, the 211th day of 2014. There are 154 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: After Sept. 1, every small box of matches will be required to have a 3 cent duty Lincoln stamp on it, and every large box will be one cent for every 100 matches.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Rock Island residents had contributed a total of $1,293 to the American Red Cross for the Johnstown flood relief fund.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Capt. Clark Means, new darkhorse twirler for the ARGUS staff, was in great form in his initial contest as a mound laborer. The result was that THE ARGUS trimmed the Union 6-5.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Hunter and Humprey Moody, young Decatur, Ill, brothers, lack only a few hours of establishing a new world light plane endurance record.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Gates of the 110th annual Mercer County Fair swing open tonight at Aledo for a full week of day and night activity. More that $36,000 will be paid in premiums and race purses.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The baseball field carved out of the cornfield near Dyersville, Iowa, continues to keep dreams alive for hundreds of visitors. Tourists from 26 state and France have visited Dan Lansing's farm to see the baseball diamond seen in the hit movie "Field of Dreams."

(More History)