Chuckles for March 2012

March 02
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor!(

March 05
What has eighteen legs and catches flies?
A baseball team!(

March 07
What's the difference between bread and the sun?
The sun rises in the east and bread rises from the yeast!(

March 09
What game do astronauts play?

March 12
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling very well!(

March 14
Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!(

March 16
How do you find King Arthur in the dark?
With a knight light!(

March 19
In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
Sunday school!(

March 21
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants?

March 21
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants?

March 23
What is the capital of Alaska?
Come on, Juneau this one!(

March 26
What has 50 heads and 50 tails?
50 pennies!(

March 28
Which animal is always laughing?
A happy-potomus!(

March 30
What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!(

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.

(More History)