Chuckles for March 2012

March 02
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor!(

March 05
What has eighteen legs and catches flies?
A baseball team!(

March 07
What's the difference between bread and the sun?
The sun rises in the east and bread rises from the yeast!(

March 09
What game do astronauts play?

March 12
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling very well!(

March 14
Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!(

March 16
How do you find King Arthur in the dark?
With a knight light!(

March 19
In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
Sunday school!(

March 21
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants?

March 21
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants?

March 23
What is the capital of Alaska?
Come on, Juneau this one!(

March 26
What has 50 heads and 50 tails?
50 pennies!(

March 28
Which animal is always laughing?
A happy-potomus!(

March 30
What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!(

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.

(More History)