Chuckles for February 2011



February 03
Q. What the magician say to the girl?
A. "Were you the girl I sawed last night?" (kids.yahoo.com)

February 07
Q. Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
A. Because the captain was standing on the deck. (kids.yahoo.com)

February 10
Q. What kind of soap does a judge use?
A. "Trial" size soap!(kids.yahoo.com)

February 14
Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Ughs and kisses!

February 17
Q. What goes black white black white.........? A. A penguin rolling down a hill!?
Q. What's black and white and laughing? A. The penguin who pushed him! (jokes-best.com/)

February 17
Q. What goes black white black white.........?
A. A penguin rolling down a hill!?
Q. What's black and white and laughing?
A. The penguin who pushed him! (jokes-best.com/)

February 21
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. (jokes-best.com/)

February 24
Q. What do you call a small psychic who escaped from jail?
A. A small medium at large!(/kids.yahoo.com/)

February 28
It was so cold... weathermen were threatening to keep it that way until they got a raise! (athropolis.com/)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.








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