Chuckles for September 2010



September 03
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
(jokes-best.com)

September 07
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
(jokes-best.com)

September 09
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 13
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
(jokes-best.com)

September 16
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,"Give me a drink and rag."
(jokes-best.com)

September 20
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 23
QIf you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? AReally big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 27
Teacher asked: Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher: What Sign?
Johnny: The sign that says "School ahead go slow"
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 30
Truck driver is stuck under bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
(jokes-best.com)

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Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept 2, the 245th day of 2014. There are 120 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: It is estimated that 300,000 people attended the recent Democratic convention in Chicago when Gen. George B. McClellan of New Jersey was nominated as a candidate for president of the United States.
1889 — 125 years ago: Alderman Frank Ill, Winslow Howard and Captain J.M. Montgomery returned from Milwaukee, where they attended the national Grand Army of the Republic encampment.
1914 — 100 years ago: Three members of the Rock Island YMCA accepted positions as physical directors of other associations. Albert Cook went to Kewanee, C.D. Curtis to Canton and Willis Woods to Leavenworth, Kan.
1939 — 75 years ago: Former President Herbert Hoover appealed for national support of President F.D. Roosevelt and Congress in every effort to keep the United States out of war.
1964 — 50 years ago: The Rock Island Junior chamber pf Commerce has received answers to about 65 % of the 600 questionnaires mailed out recently in a "Community Attitude Survey" to analyze sentiments of citizens towards their city's various recreational, educational, and civic service programs.
1989 — 25 years ago: The two thunderstorms passing through the Quad Cities last night and early today left some area residents reaching for their flashlights.






(More History)