Chuckles for September 2010



September 03
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
(jokes-best.com)

September 07
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
(jokes-best.com)

September 09
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 13
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
(jokes-best.com)

September 16
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,"Give me a drink and rag."
(jokes-best.com)

September 20
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 23
QIf you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? AReally big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 27
Teacher asked: Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher: What Sign?
Johnny: The sign that says "School ahead go slow"
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 30
Truck driver is stuck under bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
(jokes-best.com)

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Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






(More History)