Chuckles for September 2010



September 03
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
(jokes-best.com)

September 07
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
(jokes-best.com)

September 09
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 13
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
(jokes-best.com)

September 16
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,"Give me a drink and rag."
(jokes-best.com)

September 20
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 23
QIf you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? AReally big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 27
Teacher asked: Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher: What Sign?
Johnny: The sign that says "School ahead go slow"
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 30
Truck driver is stuck under bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
(jokes-best.com)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, April 23, the 113th day of 2014. There are 252 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: Some persons are negotiating for 80 feet of ground on Illinois Street with a view of erecting four stores thereon. It would serve a better purpose if the money was invested in neat tenement houses.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Central station, car house and stables of the Moline-Rock Island Horse Railway line of the Holmes syndicate, together with 15 cars and 42 head of horses, were destroyed by fire. The loss was at $15,000.
1914 — 100 years ago: Vera Cruz, Mexico, after a day and night of resistance to American forces, gradually ceased opposition. The American forces took complete control of the city.
1939 — 75 years ago: Dr. R. Bruce Collins was reelected for a second term as president of the Lower Rock Island County Tuberculosis Association.
1964 — 50 years ago: Work is scheduled to begin this summer on construction of a new men's residence complex and an addition to the dining facilities at Westerlin Hall at Augustana College.
1989 — 25 years ago: Special Olympics competitors were triple winners at Rock Island High School Saturday. The participants vanquished the rain that fell during the competition, and some won their events; but most important, they triumphed over their own disabilities.




(More History)