Chuckles for September 2010



September 03
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
(jokes-best.com)

September 07
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
(jokes-best.com)

September 09
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 13
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
(jokes-best.com)

September 16
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,"Give me a drink and rag."
(jokes-best.com)

September 20
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here."
(jokes-best.com)

September 23
QIf you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? AReally big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(jokes-best.com)

September 23
Q If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have? A Really big hands?(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 27
Teacher asked: Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher: What Sign?
Johnny: The sign that says "School ahead go slow"
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

September 30
Truck driver is stuck under bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
(jokes-best.com)

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Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, Oct. 1, the 274th day of 2014. There are 91 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: It is rumored in the streets that the 13 negroes sent to Quincy on the Moline quota were refused. We think this must be a mistake.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Harvey McKenna, of Detroit, billiard player matched to play Wizard Schafer in New York in January for the world championship, was a professional friend and manager, Billy Catton in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Levi Cralle, former Rock Island county sheriff, had come from his farm near Mitchell, S.D. to visit friends in the city.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Work is being rushed on the new high school building in Orion to replace the one destroyed by fire last winter. Classes are being held in churches.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Rehearsals for the 84th season of the Handel Oratorio Society chorus will begin at 7:30 p.m. Monday on the stage of Centennial Hall, Augustana College.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Rock Island City Council's plan announced this week to have the federal government vacate Valley Homes public housing and move residents to Arsenal Courts to reduce density may not be feasible.






(More History)