Chuckles for December 2009



December 01
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

December 08
What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas song? Jungle Bells! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

December 15
What do you sing at a snowmanís birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

December 17
What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night.

December 22
What do you have in December thatís not in any other month?
The letter D!

December 24
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day! (jokesbykids.com)

December 29
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking". The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one. What's phase one? I've quit buying. (newyearfestival.com)

December 31
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

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Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.








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