Chuckles for December 2009



December 01
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

December 08
What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas song? Jungle Bells! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

December 15
What do you sing at a snowmanís birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

December 17
What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night.

December 22
What do you have in December thatís not in any other month?
The letter D!

December 24
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day! (jokesbykids.com)

December 29
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking". The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one. What's phase one? I've quit buying. (newyearfestival.com)

December 31
Why is it so windy at sporting events?
Because of all the fans!
(kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)