Chuckles for July 2009



July 02
What weighs six tons and wears glass slippers?
Cinder-elephant! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

July 06
What do you call a hippopotamus with chicken pox?
A hippospottymus! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

July 09
What do you call a hippopotamus with chicken pox?
Because he got in treble! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

July 13
Why was the cookie crying?
Because it's mother had been a wafer so long! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

July 16
Why are dalmations bad at playing hide-and-seek?
Because they've already been spotted! (kids.yahoo.com/jokes)

July 20
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (jokesandhumor.com/}

July 23
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. (jokesandhumor.com/}

July 27
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (jokesandhumor.com/}

July 30
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. (jokesandhumor.com/}

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)