Chuckles for May 2008

May 05
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

May 09
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants? Cow-zones!

May 12
What do you give a pig with a rash? Oinkment!

May 15
Where do Mermaids go to the movies? To the dive-in!

May 19
How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle!

May 21
What's a cows favorite Chinese food? Mooooooodles!

May 23
Why should you not play cards in the Jungle? There are too many cheetahs!

May 23
Q. Why should you not play cards in the Jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

May 27
Q. What is a dog's favorite color?
A. Grrrreen

May 29
Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In a river bank!

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, April 21, the 111th day of 2014. There are 254 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The female sex seems to have gone crazy on the subject of dry goods. When high prices keep them from increasing their wardrobes, they turn to stealing. Yard goods, hats, shoes and other items are being picked up and carried home.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Members of Everts Commandery No. 18, Knights Templar, under Commander H.C. Cleaveland, marched from the Masonic Temple to Trinity Episcopal Church for their annual Easter services.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Nate Hultgren pitched the Augustana College baseball team to a 10-3 victory over Carthage, striking out 11 men and allowing only four hits.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Marvel Leonhardi, a Rock Island High School senior, was the winner of an essay contest on advertising sponsored by The Argus and Advertising Age, a national advertising publication.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Augustana College band drew a crowd of 1,200 people for its annual home concert in Centennial Hall. The size of the crowd was indicative of the fact the band is rapidly approaching the stature of the Augustana Choir.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A benefit to raise money for extracurricular activities in the Rock Island Milan School District will be April 27 at the Quad City Downs harness race track. People buying $17.50 tickets to the second annual "Night at the Quad City Downs" will be entitled to an evening of harness racing and dinner.

(More History)