Chuckles for May 2008

May 05
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

May 09
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants? Cow-zones!

May 12
What do you give a pig with a rash? Oinkment!

May 15
Where do Mermaids go to the movies? To the dive-in!

May 19
How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle!

May 21
What's a cows favorite Chinese food? Mooooooodles!

May 23
Why should you not play cards in the Jungle? There are too many cheetahs!

May 23
Q. Why should you not play cards in the Jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

May 27
Q. What is a dog's favorite color?
A. Grrrreen

May 29
Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In a river bank!

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Wednesday, July 30, the 211th day of 2014. There are 154 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: After Sept. 1, every small box of matches will be required to have a 3 cent duty Lincoln stamp on it, and every large box will be one cent for every 100 matches.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Rock Island residents had contributed a total of $1,293 to the American Red Cross for the Johnstown flood relief fund.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Capt. Clark Means, new darkhorse twirler for the ARGUS staff, was in great form in his initial contest as a mound laborer. The result was that THE ARGUS trimmed the Union 6-5.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Hunter and Humprey Moody, young Decatur, Ill, brothers, lack only a few hours of establishing a new world light plane endurance record.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Gates of the 110th annual Mercer County Fair swing open tonight at Aledo for a full week of day and night activity. More that $36,000 will be paid in premiums and race purses.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The baseball field carved out of the cornfield near Dyersville, Iowa, continues to keep dreams alive for hundreds of visitors. Tourists from 26 state and France have visited Dan Lansing's farm to see the baseball diamond seen in the hit movie "Field of Dreams."

(More History)