Chuckles for May 2008

May 05
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

May 09
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants? Cow-zones!

May 12
What do you give a pig with a rash? Oinkment!

May 15
Where do Mermaids go to the movies? To the dive-in!

May 19
How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle!

May 21
What's a cows favorite Chinese food? Mooooooodles!

May 23
Why should you not play cards in the Jungle? There are too many cheetahs!

May 23
Q. Why should you not play cards in the Jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

May 27
Q. What is a dog's favorite color?
A. Grrrreen

May 29
Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In a river bank!

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Saturday, Aug. 23, the 235th day of 2014. There are 130 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Telegraph reports state that, about 6 o'clock on the evening of the 20th, Quantrill, with about 800 of his thieves and robbers, surrounded Lawrence, Kan., and burned it to the ground.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Newton Beer's production of "Lost in London," which had a successful run for three seasons, was presented at Harper's Theater.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army commanded by Fran Duke Albrecht of Wurtemburg defeated the French army at Neufchmtenu.
1939 -- 75 years ago: John Deere Harvester Works in East Moline is starting a four-story, $104,000 addition to the combine assembly building.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Short Hills Country Club held onto its lead yesterday despite a rally by host Davenport Country Club and claimed the team title in the Sunshine Cup golf series.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Quad-Citians can look forward to more excitement and fun at this year's Rock Island Labor Day parade at 9:30 a.m. Sept 4, say organizers. This years theme is "Celebrate Rock Island."

(More History)