Chuckles for May 2008

May 05
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

May 09
What do cattle order in Italian restaurants? Cow-zones!

May 12
What do you give a pig with a rash? Oinkment!

May 15
Where do Mermaids go to the movies? To the dive-in!

May 19
How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle!

May 21
What's a cows favorite Chinese food? Mooooooodles!

May 23
Why should you not play cards in the Jungle? There are too many cheetahs!

May 23
Q. Why should you not play cards in the Jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

May 27
Q. What is a dog's favorite color?
A. Grrrreen

May 29
Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In a river bank!

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.

(More History)