Chuckles for January 2008



January 02
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken.

January 03
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

January 04
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.

January 07
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

January 09
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

January 10
What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Swimming trunks.

January 14
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the nobell prize.

January 16
What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
Mallardjusted.
--easterhumor.com

January 21
What goes hahaha, plop? Someone laughing their head off! --azkidsnet.com

January 23
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
--funnybonez.com

January 24
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
--funnybonez.com

January 28
If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three? The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
--funnybonez.com

January 30
"If you're going to work here young man, " said the boss, "the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm." "Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." responded the young man. "And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss.
--funnybonez.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, Aug. 20, the 232nd day of 2014. There are 133 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Quite a number of Negroes have lately been brought here by abolition offers returning from the army in violation of the laws of the state.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Miss Tillie Denkmann, of Rock Island, was making plans to accompany a Davenport family on a tour of Europe.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German advance into Belgium was going apparently without serious check. The American ambassador at Berlin published a denial of the charge that Americans had been ill-treated in Germany.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Seventy-two members of Rock Island High School's 1939 graduating class are preparing to enter college — 34 of them at Augustana.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the oldest buildings in Milan, which for a number of years has housed the Milan Hotel, will be razed to make way for a modern, two-story office structure.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some are blaming it on the sudden influx of insects and the extreme humidity. Still others say the invasion was inspired by a recent movie. But whatever the reason, the Quad-Cities is swarming with bats.




(More History)