LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

Chuckles for January 2008



January 02
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken.

January 03
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

January 04
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.

January 07
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

January 09
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

January 10
What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Swimming trunks.

January 14
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the nobell prize.

January 16
What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
Mallardjusted.
--easterhumor.com

January 21
What goes hahaha, plop? Someone laughing their head off! --azkidsnet.com

January 23
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
--funnybonez.com

January 24
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
--funnybonez.com

January 28
If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three? The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
--funnybonez.com

January 30
"If you're going to work here young man, " said the boss, "the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm." "Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." responded the young man. "And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss.
--funnybonez.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.






(More History)