Chuckles for January 2008



January 02
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken.

January 03
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

January 04
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.

January 07
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

January 09
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

January 10
What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Swimming trunks.

January 14
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the nobell prize.

January 16
What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
Mallardjusted.
--easterhumor.com

January 21
What goes hahaha, plop? Someone laughing their head off! --azkidsnet.com

January 23
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
--funnybonez.com

January 24
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
--funnybonez.com

January 28
If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three? The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
--funnybonez.com

January 30
"If you're going to work here young man, " said the boss, "the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm." "Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." responded the young man. "And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss.
--funnybonez.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, April 18, the 108th day of 2014. There are 257 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: A new steamer, Keithsburg, now is at our levee taking on board the balance of her fixtures preparatory to assuming her position on the daily Rock Island and Keokuk line.
1889 -- 125 years ago: C.W. Hawes was appointed deputy county clerk by county clerk Donaldson.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Mrs. O.E. child, of Moline, was named president of the Women's Home Missionary Society of the Methodist Church Rock Island District of the Central Illinois conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Augustana College is making plans for a drive for funds to erect a field house and make football field improvements.
1964 -- 50 years ago: A expanded election coverage system featuring a 16-foot chalkboard showing up to the minute running totals, attracted a large and enthusiastic crowd to The Argus newsroom last night.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Balloons frame Rock Island attorney Stewart Winstein who was given a surprise party in the rotunda of the Rock Island County Courthouse on Thursday to honor his 50th year of practicing law.




(More History)