Chuckles for January 2008



January 02
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken.

January 03
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

January 04
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.

January 07
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

January 09
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

January 10
What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Swimming trunks.

January 14
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the nobell prize.

January 16
What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
Mallardjusted.
--easterhumor.com

January 21
What goes hahaha, plop? Someone laughing their head off! --azkidsnet.com

January 23
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
--funnybonez.com

January 24
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
--funnybonez.com

January 28
If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three? The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
--funnybonez.com

January 30
"If you're going to work here young man, " said the boss, "the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm." "Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." responded the young man. "And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss.
--funnybonez.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, April 24, the 114th day of 2014. There are 251 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We learn that it is a contemplation to start a paper mill in Rock Island during the summer by a gentleman from the East.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The gates of Oklahoma were swung open at noon today, and a throng of more than 30,000 settlers started over its soil.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Iowa Coliseum Co. was incorporated with $40,000 capital and planned a building on 4th Street between Warren and Green streets in Davenport.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans are being discussed for resurfacing the streets in the entire downtown district of Rock Island.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Some 45 jobs will be created at J.I. Case Co.'s Rock Island plant in a expansion of operations announced yesterday afternoon at the firm's headquarters in Racine, Wis.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Gardeners and farmers cheered, but not all Quad-Citians found joy Saturday as more than an inch of rain fell on the area. Motorists faced dangerous, rain-slick roads as the water activated grease and grime that had built up during dry weather.








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