Chuckles for November 2007



November 01
Q. Where do ghost go for fun?
A. To the boo-vies.

November 02
Q. What kind of gum do ghosts chew?
A. Boo Boo Gum.

November 05
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such fowl language.

November 06
Q: How do you make gold soup?
A: Just throw in fourteen carrots. (carats)

November 07
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

November 08
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!

November 09
Q: What’s blue and covered with feathers?
A: A turkey holding its breath!

November 12
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

November 13
Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.
--G. Gordon Liddy

November 14
Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.
--Andy Gibb

November 15
Which hand should you use to stir tea?
(Neither... it's better to use a spoon.)

November 19
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY

November 26
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet

November 27
What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night

November 28
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

November 29
What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
I'll have a boo Christmas without you.

November 30
What kind of bird can write?
A Pen-guin

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, July 29, the 210th day of 2014. There are 155 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Col. H.F. Sickless informs us that there will be new organization of troops in this state under the call for more men.
1889 -- 125 years ago: James Normoyle arrived home after graduating from West Point with honors in the class of 1889. He was to report to Fort Brady, Mich., as second lieutenant in the 23rd Infantry.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Austria Hungary declared war on Serbia. Germany and Austria refused an invitation of Sir Edward Grey to join Great Britain at a mediation conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Dr. William Mayo, the last of the three famous Mayo brother surgeons, died at the age of 78.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the biggest horse shows of the season was held yesterday at Hillandale Arena on Knoxville Road under the sponsorship of the Illowa Horsemen's Club.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Davenport is like a gigantic carnival this weekend with the Bix Arts Fest taking over 12 square blocks of the downtown area. A festive atmosphere prevailed Friday as thousands of people turned out to sample what the Arts Fest has to offer.








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