Chuckles for November 2007



November 01
Q. Where do ghost go for fun?
A. To the boo-vies.

November 02
Q. What kind of gum do ghosts chew?
A. Boo Boo Gum.

November 05
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such fowl language.

November 06
Q: How do you make gold soup?
A: Just throw in fourteen carrots. (carats)

November 07
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

November 08
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!

November 09
Q: What’s blue and covered with feathers?
A: A turkey holding its breath!

November 12
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

November 13
Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.
--G. Gordon Liddy

November 14
Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.
--Andy Gibb

November 15
Which hand should you use to stir tea?
(Neither... it's better to use a spoon.)

November 19
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY

November 26
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet

November 27
What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night

November 28
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

November 29
What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
I'll have a boo Christmas without you.

November 30
What kind of bird can write?
A Pen-guin

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, July 25, the 206th day of 2014. There are 159 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Walter Jones, of Co, F 23rd Ky, volunteers, lost a satchel on the Camden road, yesterday, containing his papers of discharge from the army.
1889 -- 125 years ago: E. W. Robinson purchased from Mrs. J.T. Miller the livery stable on the triangle south of Market square.
1914 -- 100 years ago: A municipal; bathing beach was advocated at the weekly meeting of the city commission by commissioner Rudgren, who suggested the foot of Seventh Street as an excellent location.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Floyd Shetter, Rock Island county superintendent schools, announced teachers hired for nearly all of the 95 rural and village grade schools in the county.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The mercury officially reached the season's previous high of 95 about noon today and continued upward toward an expected mark of 97.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Fort Armstrong hotel once the wining and dining chambers of Rock Island's elite is under repair. Progress is being made though at a seeming snail's pace to return the building to a semblance of its past glory for senior citizen's homes.








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