Chuckles for October 2007



October 04
No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.
--Sam Rayburn (1882 - 1961)

October 08
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
--George Burns

October 09
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
--Doug Larson

October 11
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
--Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)

October 15
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
--Cullen Hightower

October 17
What's the best way to prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
(Don't bite any.)

October 18
What is small, purple, and dangerous? (A grape with a machine gun.)

October 19
Teacher: What's the formula for water? Student: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: That's not the formula I gave you. Student: Well you said H to O.

October 19
Teacher: What's the formula for water?
Student: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O
Teacher: That's not the formula I gave you.
Student: Well you said H to O.

October 22
What do you call a sheep that is covered with chocolate?
(A Hershey "baaa") id H to O.

October 22
What do you call a sheep that is covered with chocolate?
(A Hershey "baaa")

October 23
How many beans can you put into an empty bag?
(One. After that the bag isn't empty.)

October 24
Real Estate Agent: Here's a house without any flaws.
Customer: Then what do you walk on?

October 25
What's long and yellow and always points north? (A magnetic banana.)

October 29
Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?
A. Wrap!!!!!

October 30
Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos.

October 31
Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
A. Whipped scream.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, April 20, the 110th day of 2014. There are 255 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The attention of contractors is called to proposals for building a magazine. The building is to be erected on the south side of the island, above the railroad, nearly opposite Sinnit's ice houses.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Ladies patent leather tip shoes were selling for $3 at the M & K store, and men's spring overcoats were advertised at $7.50.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Fred Feuchter, of Davenport, was elected president of the Tri-City Post Office Clerks club, and Joe Goldsmith, of Rock Island, was named secretary treasurer.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mass vaccination of more than 1,600 employed of the Rock Island Arsenal has been ordered by Col. Norman Ramsey after a 13-year-old daughter of the Arsenal manager became ill with smallpox.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The 1964 Scout-O-Rama of the Sac-Fox Council of Boy Scouts closed a two-day session last evening at the Rock Island Armory with 5,000 paid attendance.
1989 -- 25 years ago: "From the horse and buggy days ... to this" said Mercer County Sheriff Marvin Thirtyacre, waving his hand to indicate the sheriff's department facilities at the new $1.5 million Mercer County Jail in Aledo.




(More History)