Chuckles for September 2007



September 04
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
--Evan Esar

September 06
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

September 10
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--Unknown

September 12
What is a forum? (A two-um plus a two-um)

September 13
When two angels meet, what do they say to each other ?
Halo!

September 17
Q. What do you call a very popular perfume?
A. A best smeller.

September 20
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught.
--Marquis de Vauvenargues

September 24
How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? (Drop it from five feet. It won't break during the first four feet.)

September 26
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)