Chuckles for September 2007



September 04
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
--Evan Esar

September 06
A couple of zoologists decided to give a lion a cell phone in order to keep track of his whereabouts. Unfortunately, whenever they tried to call, the lion was busy!

September 10
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--Unknown

September 12
What is a forum? (A two-um plus a two-um)

September 13
When two angels meet, what do they say to each other ?
Halo!

September 17
Q. What do you call a very popular perfume?
A. A best smeller.

September 20
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught.
--Marquis de Vauvenargues

September 24
How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? (Drop it from five feet. It won't break during the first four feet.)

September 26
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, April 23, the 113th day of 2014. There are 252 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: Some persons are negotiating for 80 feet of ground on Illinois Street with a view of erecting four stores thereon. It would serve a better purpose if the money was invested in neat tenement houses.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Central station, car house and stables of the Moline-Rock Island Horse Railway line of the Holmes syndicate, together with 15 cars and 42 head of horses, were destroyed by fire. The loss was at $15,000.
1914 — 100 years ago: Vera Cruz, Mexico, after a day and night of resistance to American forces, gradually ceased opposition. The American forces took complete control of the city.
1939 — 75 years ago: Dr. R. Bruce Collins was reelected for a second term as president of the Lower Rock Island County Tuberculosis Association.
1964 — 50 years ago: Work is scheduled to begin this summer on construction of a new men's residence complex and an addition to the dining facilities at Westerlin Hall at Augustana College.
1989 — 25 years ago: Special Olympics competitors were triple winners at Rock Island High School Saturday. The participants vanquished the rain that fell during the competition, and some won their events; but most important, they triumphed over their own disabilities.




(More History)