Chuckles for August 2007



August 02
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
--Anonymous

August 06
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
--Rita Mae Brown

August 08
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
--Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

August 09
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
--Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

August 13
Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.
--John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925)

August 16
Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them!
--allaboutfrogs.org

August 20
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III

August 21
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
--Farmers' Almanac, 1978

August 23
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

August 27
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
--Ernest Haskins

August 28
Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job.

August 30
What does a pig use to write with? (A pigpen.)

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept. 16, the 259th day of 2014. There are 106 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: A fine lumber mill is on the course of erection at Andalusia. A flouring mill at that location is doing a fine business.
1889 — 125 years ago: J.B. Lidders, past captain of Beardsley Camp, Sons of Veterans, returned from Paterson, N.Y., where he attended the National Sons of Veterans encampments.
1914 — 100 years ago: President Wilson announced that he had received from the imperial chancellor of Germany a noncommittal reply to his inquiry into a report that the emperor was willing to discuss terms of peace.
1939 — 75 years ago: Delegates at the Illinois Conference of the Methodist Church in Springfield voted to raise the minimum pay of ministers so that every pastor would get at least $1,000 annually.
1964 — 50 years ago: An audience of more than 2,600 persons jammed into the Davenport RKO Orpheum theater with a shoe horn feasted on a Miller-Diller evening that was a killer night. Phyllis Diller sent the audience with her offbeat humor. And send them she did! It was Miss Diller's third appearance in the Quad-Cities area.
1989 — 25 years ago: A few years ago, a vacant lot on 7th Avenue and 14th Street in Rock Island was a community nuisance. Weeds grew as high 18 inches. Today, the lot has a new face, thanks to Michael and Sheila Rind and other neighbors who helped them turn it into a park three weeks ago.





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