Chuckles for August 2007



August 02
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
--Anonymous

August 06
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
--Rita Mae Brown

August 08
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
--Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

August 09
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
--Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

August 13
Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.
--John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925)

August 16
Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them!
--allaboutfrogs.org

August 20
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III

August 21
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
--Farmers' Almanac, 1978

August 23
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

August 27
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
--Ernest Haskins

August 28
Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job.

August 30
What does a pig use to write with? (A pigpen.)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Oct. 21, the 294th day of 2014. There are 71 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The weather is discouraging for our great Democratic rally tomorrow, but never mind that. Let our Rock Island people show they can make a big procession themselves, rain or shine.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Apparatus arrived for drilling an artesian well on the premises of George Warner's Atlantic Brewery.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army continued its attacks on the allies line near the Belgian coast.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The farm home of Mr. and Mrs. Gus Zachert northwest of Buffalo Prairie, burned to the ground.
1964 -- 50 years ago: WVIK-FM, noncommercial educational radio station at Augustana College, will return to the air tomorrow. The station operates at a power of 10 watts at 90.9 megacycles on the frequency modulation band. The station is operated with a staff of 92 students.
1989 -- 25 years ago: An avenue of lights, 13 Christmas trees strung with more than 44,000 sparkling lights, will expand the Festival of Trees beyond the walls of RiverCenter in downtown Davenport in mid-November.


(More History)