Chuckles for August 2007



August 02
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
--Anonymous

August 06
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
--Rita Mae Brown

August 08
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
--Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

August 09
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
--Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

August 13
Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.
--John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925)

August 16
Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them!
--allaboutfrogs.org

August 20
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III

August 21
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
--Farmers' Almanac, 1978

August 23
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

August 27
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
--Ernest Haskins

August 28
Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job.

August 30
What does a pig use to write with? (A pigpen.)

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)