Chuckles for August 2007



August 02
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
--Anonymous

August 06
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
--Rita Mae Brown

August 08
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
--Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

August 09
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
--Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

August 13
Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.
--John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925)

August 16
Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them!
--allaboutfrogs.org

August 20
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III

August 21
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
--Farmers' Almanac, 1978

August 23
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

August 27
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
--Ernest Haskins

August 28
Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job.

August 30
What does a pig use to write with? (A pigpen.)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, April 24, the 114th day of 2014. There are 251 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We learn that it is a contemplation to start a paper mill in Rock Island during the summer by a gentleman from the East.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The gates of Oklahoma were swung open at noon today, and a throng of more than 30,000 settlers started over its soil.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Iowa Coliseum Co. was incorporated with $40,000 capital and planned a building on 4th Street between Warren and Green streets in Davenport.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans are being discussed for resurfacing the streets in the entire downtown district of Rock Island.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Some 45 jobs will be created at J.I. Case Co.'s Rock Island plant in a expansion of operations announced yesterday afternoon at the firm's headquarters in Racine, Wis.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Gardeners and farmers cheered, but not all Quad-Citians found joy Saturday as more than an inch of rain fell on the area. Motorists faced dangerous, rain-slick roads as the water activated grease and grime that had built up during dry weather.








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