Chuckles for May 2007
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.
--John B. Bogart (1848 - 1921)
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
--George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
He who laughs, lasts!
--Mary Pettibone Poole
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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