Chuckles for April 2007



April 03
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
--Hesketh Pearson

April 04
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
--Evan Esar

April 05
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
--Jules Renard

April 06
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
--Unknown

April 09
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
--George Burns (1896 - 1996)

April 10
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),

April 12
When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
--Rita Rudner

April 16
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
--Christopher Hampton

April 17
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

April 18
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
--Carl Zwanzig

April 19
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
--Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

April 19
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
--Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

April 20
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
--Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )

April 23
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
--Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

April 24
I am not young enough to know everything.
--Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

April 27
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, July 22, the 203rd day of 2014. There are 162 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Everybody is invited to go on a moonlight excursion next Monday evening on the steamer New Boston. The trip will be from Davenport to Muscatine and back.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The mayor and bridge committee let a contract to the Clinton Bridge company for a $1,125 iron bridge across Sears canal near Milan.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Injunction proceedings to compel the Central Association to keep a baseball team in Rock Island for the remainder of the season were contemplated by some of the Rock Island fans, but they decided to defer action.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The first of the new and more powerful diesel engines built for the Rock Island Lines for the proposed Chicago-Denver run, passed thru the Tri-Cities this morning.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Rock Island Rescue Mission is negotiating for the purchase of the Prince Hall Masonic Home located at 37th Avenue and 5th Street, Rock Island.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Quad Cities Container Terminal is being lauded as a giant business boon that will save several days and hundreds of dollars on each goods shipment to the coasts. The Quad Cities Container Terminal is the final piece of the puzzle that opens up increase access to world markets, Robert Goldstein said.








(More History)