Chuckles for April 2007



April 03
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
--Hesketh Pearson

April 04
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
--Evan Esar

April 05
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
--Jules Renard

April 06
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
--Unknown

April 09
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
--George Burns (1896 - 1996)

April 10
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),

April 12
When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
--Rita Rudner

April 16
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
--Christopher Hampton

April 17
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

April 18
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
--Carl Zwanzig

April 19
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
--Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

April 19
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
--Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

April 20
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
--Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )

April 23
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
--Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

April 24
I am not young enough to know everything.
--Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

April 27
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

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Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, Sept. 17, the 260th day of 2014. There are 105 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: We are told league merchants have paid no attention to the prohibition on selling ammunition, but continue to sell just as before the order was issued.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The Rev. R.F. Sweet, rector of Trinity Episcopal Parish, left for the East to visit his boyhood home in Boston before attending the general convention of the Episcopal Church in New York.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dr. E.A. Anderson was named to succeed Dr. E.L. Kerns as head physician of the Modern Woodmen of America, and moved to Rock Island from Holdingford, Minn.
1939 -- 75 years ago: One week late, because of the outbreak of war, Dr. E.L. Beyer resumed his work as professor of romance languages at Augustana College. Dr. and Mrs. Beyer left Germany on the last train to the Belgian border.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Employees in Turnstyle stores in Moline and Davenport will vote Oct. 2 in an election set up by the Chicago regional office of the National Labor Relations Board. Employees will vote either for the Retail Clerk International or for no union.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Rock Island High School is considering a step to help teen moms stay in school and get their diploma. The school board is expected to vote tonight on instituting an on-site child care center.




(More History)