Chuckles for April 2007
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
--George Burns (1896 - 1996)
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),
When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
--Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
--Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
--Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
--Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)
I am not young enough to know everything.
--Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)
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