Chuckles for April 2007



April 03
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
--Hesketh Pearson

April 04
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
--Evan Esar

April 05
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
--Jules Renard

April 06
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
--Unknown

April 09
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
--George Burns (1896 - 1996)

April 10
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),

April 12
When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
--Rita Rudner

April 16
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
--Christopher Hampton

April 17
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

April 18
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
--Carl Zwanzig

April 19
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
--Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

April 19
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
--Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

April 20
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
--Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )

April 23
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
--Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

April 24
I am not young enough to know everything.
--Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

April 27
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

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Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, April 20, the 110th day of 2014. There are 255 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The attention of contractors is called to proposals for building a magazine. The building is to be erected on the south side of the island, above the railroad, nearly opposite Sinnit's ice houses.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Ladies patent leather tip shoes were selling for $3 at the M & K store, and men's spring overcoats were advertised at $7.50.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Fred Feuchter, of Davenport, was elected president of the Tri-City Post Office Clerks club, and Joe Goldsmith, of Rock Island, was named secretary treasurer.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mass vaccination of more than 1,600 employed of the Rock Island Arsenal has been ordered by Col. Norman Ramsey after a 13-year-old daughter of the Arsenal manager became ill with smallpox.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The 1964 Scout-O-Rama of the Sac-Fox Council of Boy Scouts closed a two-day session last evening at the Rock Island Armory with 5,000 paid attendance.
1989 -- 25 years ago: "From the horse and buggy days ... to this" said Mercer County Sheriff Marvin Thirtyacre, waving his hand to indicate the sheriff's department facilities at the new $1.5 million Mercer County Jail in Aledo.




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