Chuckles for April 2007



April 03
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
--Hesketh Pearson

April 04
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
--Evan Esar

April 05
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
--Jules Renard

April 06
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
--Unknown

April 09
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
--George Burns (1896 - 1996)

April 10
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),

April 12
When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
--Rita Rudner

April 16
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
--Christopher Hampton

April 17
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

April 18
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
--Carl Zwanzig

April 19
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
--Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

April 19
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
--Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

April 20
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
--Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )

April 23
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
--Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

April 24
I am not young enough to know everything.
--Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

April 27
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Aug. 1, the 213th day of 2014. There are 152 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: A mad dog was shot in Davenport after biting several other canines and snapping at several children. The police should abate this nuisance — there are about 500 dogs in this city that ought to be killed at once.
1889 — 125 years ago: Track laying operations on 2nd Avenue, stopped by the Moline-Rock Island company last spring for lack of rail, have been resumed.
1914 — 100 years ago: Bulletins allowed to come through the strong continental censorship of all war news indicated that Germany was advancing with a dash against both Russia and France.
1939 — 75 years ago: Emil J Klein, of Rock Island, was elected commander of Rock Island Post 200, American Legion.
1964 — 50 years ago: Members of the Davenport police department and their families are being invited to the department's family picnic to be held Aug. 27 at the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds.
1989 — 25 years ago: Beginning this fall, Black Hawk College will offer a continuing education course in horseback riding at the Wright Way Equestrian Center, Moline, located just east of the Deere Administration Center.




(More History)