Chuckles for February 2007



February 01
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

February 02
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

February 05
You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
--Cecil Baxter

February 06
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
--Carl Reiner

February 08
Health food makes me sick.
--Calvin Trillin (1935 - )

February 08
Health food makes me sick.
--Calvin Trillin (1935 - )

February 09
'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

February 12
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
--Mae West (1892 - 1980)

February 13
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
--theholidayspot.com

February 14
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
--Mark Twain

February 15
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
--Eddie Izzard

February 19
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
--Andrew W. Mathis

February 20
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
--Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

February 21
Never eat more than you can lift.
--Miss Piggy

February 22
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
--Dan Rather (1931 - )

February 23
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
--David Letterman (1947 - )

February 26
I am in the prime of senility.
--Benjamin Franklin

February 27
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
--Sam Levenson

February 28
The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.
--R. Stevens

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, April 23, the 113th day of 2014. There are 252 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: Some persons are negotiating for 80 feet of ground on Illinois Street with a view of erecting four stores thereon. It would serve a better purpose if the money was invested in neat tenement houses.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Central station, car house and stables of the Moline-Rock Island Horse Railway line of the Holmes syndicate, together with 15 cars and 42 head of horses, were destroyed by fire. The loss was at $15,000.
1914 — 100 years ago: Vera Cruz, Mexico, after a day and night of resistance to American forces, gradually ceased opposition. The American forces took complete control of the city.
1939 — 75 years ago: Dr. R. Bruce Collins was reelected for a second term as president of the Lower Rock Island County Tuberculosis Association.
1964 — 50 years ago: Work is scheduled to begin this summer on construction of a new men's residence complex and an addition to the dining facilities at Westerlin Hall at Augustana College.
1989 — 25 years ago: Special Olympics competitors were triple winners at Rock Island High School Saturday. The participants vanquished the rain that fell during the competition, and some won their events; but most important, they triumphed over their own disabilities.




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