Chuckles for February 2007



February 01
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
--Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

February 02
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)

February 05
You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
--Cecil Baxter

February 06
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
--Carl Reiner

February 08
Health food makes me sick.
--Calvin Trillin (1935 - )

February 08
Health food makes me sick.
--Calvin Trillin (1935 - )

February 09
'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

February 12
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
--Mae West (1892 - 1980)

February 13
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
--theholidayspot.com

February 14
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
--Mark Twain

February 15
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
--Eddie Izzard

February 19
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
--Andrew W. Mathis

February 20
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
--Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

February 21
Never eat more than you can lift.
--Miss Piggy

February 22
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
--Dan Rather (1931 - )

February 23
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
--David Letterman (1947 - )

February 26
I am in the prime of senility.
--Benjamin Franklin

February 27
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
--Sam Levenson

February 28
The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.
--R. Stevens

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.








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