Chuckles for December 2006



December 04
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
--theholidayspot.com

December 05
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 06
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 07
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
--theholidayspot.com

December 08
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick!
--theholidayspot.com

December 11
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 12
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
--theholidayspot.com

December 13
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus!
--theholidayspot.com

December 14
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!
--theholidayspot.com

December 18
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 19
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
--humormatters.com

December 20
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

December 21
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

December 27
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day!!
--jokesbykids.com

December 28
What is a bee's favorite snack?
Sting cheese!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
Pearl: When the clock struck 12 last night, I said to myself, "Pearl, everything is coming your way!" Earl: That's a great way to start the New Year! What did you do after that? Pearl: I quickly pulled into the correct lane!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
What do spiders do for fun on the computer?
They surf the web!
--jokesbykids.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, April 23, the 113th day of 2014. There are 252 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: Some persons are negotiating for 80 feet of ground on Illinois Street with a view of erecting four stores thereon. It would serve a better purpose if the money was invested in neat tenement houses.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Central station, car house and stables of the Moline-Rock Island Horse Railway line of the Holmes syndicate, together with 15 cars and 42 head of horses, were destroyed by fire. The loss was at $15,000.
1914 — 100 years ago: Vera Cruz, Mexico, after a day and night of resistance to American forces, gradually ceased opposition. The American forces took complete control of the city.
1939 — 75 years ago: Dr. R. Bruce Collins was reelected for a second term as president of the Lower Rock Island County Tuberculosis Association.
1964 — 50 years ago: Work is scheduled to begin this summer on construction of a new men's residence complex and an addition to the dining facilities at Westerlin Hall at Augustana College.
1989 — 25 years ago: Special Olympics competitors were triple winners at Rock Island High School Saturday. The participants vanquished the rain that fell during the competition, and some won their events; but most important, they triumphed over their own disabilities.




(More History)