Chuckles for December 2006



December 04
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
--theholidayspot.com

December 05
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 06
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 07
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
--theholidayspot.com

December 08
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick!
--theholidayspot.com

December 11
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 12
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
--theholidayspot.com

December 13
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus!
--theholidayspot.com

December 14
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!
--theholidayspot.com

December 18
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 19
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
--humormatters.com

December 20
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

December 21
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

December 27
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day!!
--jokesbykids.com

December 28
What is a bee's favorite snack?
Sting cheese!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
Pearl: When the clock struck 12 last night, I said to myself, "Pearl, everything is coming your way!" Earl: That's a great way to start the New Year! What did you do after that? Pearl: I quickly pulled into the correct lane!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
What do spiders do for fun on the computer?
They surf the web!
--jokesbykids.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 31, the 212th day of 2014. There are 153 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: A corps of surgeons now occupies the new hospital quarters at the Garrison Hospital on the Rock Island Arsenal. A fence has been installed to enclose the prison hospital.
1889 -- 125 years ago: B. Winter has let a contract to Christ Schreiner for a two story brick building with a double store front on the south side of 3rd Avenue just west of 17th Street. The estimated cost was $4,500.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Germany sent simultaneous ultimatums to Russia and France, demanding that Russia suspend mobilization within 12 hours and demanding that France inform Germany within 18 hours. In the case of war between Germany and Russia, France would remain neutral.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Civil service offices at the post office and the Rock Island Arsenal were swamped as more than 700 youths sought 15 machinist apprenticeships at the Arsenal.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Last night, American Legion Post 246 in Moline figuratively handed over the trousers to a female ex-Marine and petticoat rule began. Olga Swanson, of Moline, was installed as the first woman commander of the post .
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illinois Quad City Civic Center captured the excitement and interest of a convention of auditorium managers this weekend in Reno, Nev. Bill Adams, civic center authority chairman, said the 10,000-seat arena planned for downtown Moline has caught the eye of construction firms, suppliers, management teams and concession groups.








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