Chuckles for December 2006



December 04
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
--theholidayspot.com

December 05
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 06
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 07
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
--theholidayspot.com

December 08
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick!
--theholidayspot.com

December 11
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 12
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
--theholidayspot.com

December 13
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus!
--theholidayspot.com

December 14
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!
--theholidayspot.com

December 18
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 19
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
--humormatters.com

December 20
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

December 21
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

December 27
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day!!
--jokesbykids.com

December 28
What is a bee's favorite snack?
Sting cheese!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
Pearl: When the clock struck 12 last night, I said to myself, "Pearl, everything is coming your way!" Earl: That's a great way to start the New Year! What did you do after that? Pearl: I quickly pulled into the correct lane!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
What do spiders do for fun on the computer?
They surf the web!
--jokesbykids.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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