Chuckles for December 2006



December 04
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
--theholidayspot.com

December 05
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 06
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 07
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
--theholidayspot.com

December 08
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick!
--theholidayspot.com

December 11
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
--theholidayspot.com

December 12
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
--theholidayspot.com

December 13
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus!
--theholidayspot.com

December 14
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!
--theholidayspot.com

December 18
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
--theholidayspot.com

December 19
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
--humormatters.com

December 20
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

December 21
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

December 27
What is a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Years Day!!
--jokesbykids.com

December 28
What is a bee's favorite snack?
Sting cheese!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
Pearl: When the clock struck 12 last night, I said to myself, "Pearl, everything is coming your way!" Earl: That's a great way to start the New Year! What did you do after that? Pearl: I quickly pulled into the correct lane!
--jokesbykids.com

December 29
What do spiders do for fun on the computer?
They surf the web!
--jokesbykids.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, Oct. 2, the 275th day of 2014. There are 90 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The ladies have adopted the fashion of wearing representations of insects in the flowers on their bonnets. Some look very natural.
1889 -- 125 years ago: T.F. Cary, former Rock Island alderman, has accepted a position as salesman for a Chicago wallpaper house and plans to move to that city.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Work on the new telephone building on 18th Street between 6th and 7th avenues is progressing rapidly.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Rock Island's new theater at 3rd Avenue and 19th Street will have a name significant of its location. The "Rocket" is scheduled to open Thanksgiving Day.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Two of Rock Island's newest water towers were vandalized last night, including the one at 38th Street and 31st Avenue, where police took five Moline boys into custody about 9 p.m..
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some of us who live in the Quad-Cities take the Mississippi River for granted, or at least we used to. But the river is not taken for granted by our visitors. And most Quad-Citians are realizing the importance of the river to this area as increased emphasis is placed on tourism.







(More History)