Chuckles for November 2006



November 01
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE!
--theholidayspot.com

November 02
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
--theholidayspot.com

November 02
Q. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A. If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
--theholidayspot.com

November 06
Q. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A. Their AGE!
--theholidayspot.com

November 07
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.--Author Unknown

November 09
When asked to write a paper on what he was thankful for on Thanksgiving little Timmy wrote:
I'm thankful that I'm not a turkey!
--jokesbykids.com

November 10
Teacher: "Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?"
Student: "Maybe they missed their plane."

November 13
Q. How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A. I'll tell you next week...

November 15
He who laughs, lasts!
--Mary Pettibone Poole

November 16
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
--lotsofjokes.com

November 17
Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
--jokesbykids.com

November 27
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
--Mary Wilson Little

November 28
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
--Dave Barry (1947 - )

November 29
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
--theholidayspot.com

November 30
How long does it take to burn a candle down?
About a wick!
--theholidayspot.com

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)