Chuckles for October 2006



October 02
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
--Laurence J. Peter

October 03
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
--Thomas A. Edison

October 09
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

October 10
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

October 13
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson

October 16
The future ain't what it used to be.
--Yogi Berra (1925 - )

October 17
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
--theholidayspot.com

October 18
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
--theholidayspot.com

October 19
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...
--theholidayspot.com

October 23
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
--theholidayspot.com

October 24
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope...

October 25
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
--halloween.com

October 26
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
corsinet.com

October 27
What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.
corsinet.com

October 30
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
--corsinet.com

October 31
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'd like a beer and a mop!
--corsinet.com

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Monday, May 20, the 140th day of 2013. There are 225 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: A petition is being circulated asking the city council to order awell bored in Market Square. It would be a great accommodation to the public.
1888 -- 125 years ago: At 1 p.m. on May 18 the Mississippi River flooded its banks atRock Island and destroyed the warehouse of the Rock Island Lumber Co. and damagedRock Island Arsenal power plant. Total loss is estimated at $100,000.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Residents of Sough Rock Island Township are circulating apetition favoring the annexation of that area to the City of Rock Island.
1938 -- 75 years ago: A group of state members of the National Grandmothers Clubmeeting in Rock Island are making plans to petition for the observance of a NationalGrandmothers Day.
1963 -- 50 years ago: Deere and Co. reported today that its U.S. and Canadian sales forthe first half of the 1963 fiscal year set an all time record of $323,716.628.
1988 -- 25 years ago: William G. Lawrence, first administrative director, has retired fromPECO Enterprises, Inc. Prior to his service at PECO, Mr. Lawrence was the civilianpersonnel officer at the Rock Island Arsenal.






(More History)