Chuckles for October 2006



October 02
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
--Laurence J. Peter

October 03
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
--Thomas A. Edison

October 09
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

October 10
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

October 13
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson

October 16
The future ain't what it used to be.
--Yogi Berra (1925 - )

October 17
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
--theholidayspot.com

October 18
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
--theholidayspot.com

October 19
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...
--theholidayspot.com

October 23
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
--theholidayspot.com

October 24
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope...

October 25
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
--halloween.com

October 26
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
corsinet.com

October 27
What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.
corsinet.com

October 30
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
--corsinet.com

October 31
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'd like a beer and a mop!
--corsinet.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, July 27, the 208th day of 2014. There are 157 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The Rock Island Paper Mill is now operating. It is an establishment which our people ought to encourage by saving all rags for the mill, where you can get cash and the highest prices for them.
1889 -- 125 years ago: E. W. Robinson purchased from J.T. Miller the livery stable on the triangle south of Market Square.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Henry Kramer was elected president of the Tri-City Typothetae Franklin Club, which took the place of the Tri-City Ben Franklin Club.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mrs. Floyd Furh, Illinois City, was first-place winner in the second annual Gov. Horner Farm floral contest.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Nearly 4,000 people are expected to attend weekend sessions of the Jehovah's Witnesses Assembly being held at the Masonic Temple.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The B-29 Super-Fortress bomber is impressive looking, and it did the job during World War II. Its claim to fame is dropping the atomic bombs in Japan to end the war. Only one B-29 is operational in the world today. It is on display at the Quad City Airport in Moline until Friday.






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