Chuckles for October 2006



October 02
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
--Laurence J. Peter

October 03
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
--Thomas A. Edison

October 09
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

October 10
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

October 13
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson

October 16
The future ain't what it used to be.
--Yogi Berra (1925 - )

October 17
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
--theholidayspot.com

October 18
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
--theholidayspot.com

October 19
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...
--theholidayspot.com

October 23
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
--theholidayspot.com

October 24
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope...

October 25
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
--halloween.com

October 26
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
corsinet.com

October 27
What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.
corsinet.com

October 30
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
--corsinet.com

October 31
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'd like a beer and a mop!
--corsinet.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept, 30, the 273rd day of 2014. There are 92 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: The ARGUS Boys are very anxious to attend the great Democratic mass meeting tomorrow and we shall therefore, print no paper on the day.
1889 — 125 years ago: H.J. Lowery resigned from his position as manager at the Harper House.
1914 — 100 years ago: Curtis & Simonson was the name of a new legal partnership formed by two younger members of the Rock Island County Bar. Hugh Cyrtis and Devore Simonson..
1939 — 75 years ago: Harry Grell, deputy county clerk was named county recorder to fill the vacancy caused by a resignation.
1964 — 50 years ago: A new world wide reader insurance service program offering around the clock accident protection for Argus subscribers and their families is announced today.
1989 — 25 years ago: Tomato plant and other sensitive greenery may have had a hard time surviving overnight as temperatures neared the freezing point.




(More History)