Chuckles for October 2006



October 02
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
--Laurence J. Peter

October 03
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
--Thomas A. Edison

October 09
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

October 10
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

October 13
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson

October 16
The future ain't what it used to be.
--Yogi Berra (1925 - )

October 17
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
--theholidayspot.com

October 18
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
--theholidayspot.com

October 19
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...
--theholidayspot.com

October 23
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
--theholidayspot.com

October 24
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope...

October 25
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
--halloween.com

October 26
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
corsinet.com

October 27
What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.
corsinet.com

October 30
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
--corsinet.com

October 31
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'd like a beer and a mop!
--corsinet.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, April 24, the 114th day of 2014. There are 251 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We learn that it is a contemplation to start a paper mill in Rock Island during the summer by a gentleman from the East.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The gates of Oklahoma were swung open at noon today, and a throng of more than 30,000 settlers started over its soil.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Iowa Coliseum Co. was incorporated with $40,000 capital and planned a building on 4th Street between Warren and Green streets in Davenport.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans are being discussed for resurfacing the streets in the entire downtown district of Rock Island.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Some 45 jobs will be created at J.I. Case Co.'s Rock Island plant in a expansion of operations announced yesterday afternoon at the firm's headquarters in Racine, Wis.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Gardeners and farmers cheered, but not all Quad-Citians found joy Saturday as more than an inch of rain fell on the area. Motorists faced dangerous, rain-slick roads as the water activated grease and grime that had built up during dry weather.








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