Chuckles for June 2006
Champ-who your hair, it's dirty!!
General Lee who?
Generally I do not tell jokes!
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
What is a pickle's all time favorite musical?
Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A. Hi Cliff!
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.
-- Pete Seeger
I'm still an atheist, thank God.
--Luis Bunuel (1900 - 1983)
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.
--P. J. O'Rourke
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
--George Ade (1866 - 1944)
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
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