Chuckles for May 2006
Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
Signs Of Maturity
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
NDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Signs you sre no longer a kid...
Your ears are hairier than your head.
The check is in the mail.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
Say this tongue twister quickly three times:
Unique New York
Husband: "Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you?"
Wife: "Is that what I do?"
I may be Schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it. “It’s great,” Tommy said. “I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad…”
Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.
Q. What breaks when you say it?
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest was still the highest mountain even before it was discovered.
Dishes the police, open up!!
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