Chuckles for May 2006



May 01
Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
--lotsofjokes.com

May 02
Police Quotes
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
--lotsofjokes.com

May 04
Signs Of Maturity
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 05
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 08
Parent Definitions
NDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 09
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 10
Signs you sre no longer a kid...
Your ears are hairier than your head.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 11
Biggest Lies
The check is in the mail.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 12
Police Quotes
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
--lotsofjokes.com

May 15
Product Wording:
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 17
Say this tongue twister quickly three times:
Unique New York

May 18
Husband: "Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you?"
Wife: "Is that what I do?"
--lotsofjokes.com

May 19
I may be Schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
--lotsofjokes.com

May 22
The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it. Its great, Tommy said. I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad
--cleanjoke.com/

May 23
Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.
--punoftheday.com

May 24
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.
--ahajokes.com

May 25
Q. What breaks when you say it?
A. Silence!
--lotsofjokes.com

May 26
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
--lotsofjokes.com

May 30
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest was still the highest mountain even before it was discovered.
--azkidsnet.com

May 31
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, open up!!
--azkidsnet.com

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