LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

Chuckles for December 2005



December 01
Q: What has fins, a tail, and is mailed to you at Christmas?
A: A Christmas Cod!
--kidsdomain.com

December 02
Q. Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?
A. He wanted to make up his mind!
--kidsdomain.com

December 05
Q. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A. Because they dropped out of school!
--kidsdomain.com

December 06
Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A. A little horse
--kidsdomain.com

December 07
Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
--kidsdomain.com

December 08
Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A. Hi Cliff!
--lotsofjokes.com

December 09
Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
A. Swimming trunks.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 12
Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A. Stick with me and we will go places!
--lotsofjokes.com

December 13
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 14
Q. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?
A. They wear snow caps.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 15
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 16
Final Exam Fun
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 16
Final Exam Fun
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 19
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 20
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 21
Q. How's your job at the balloon factory?
A. We can't keep up with inflation.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 22
Boring Party Fun:
Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you can pronounce.
Use a different accent every time you talk to someone new.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 27
You know you're really broke when...
American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 27
You know you're really broke when...
American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 28
Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
--lotsofjokes.com

December 29
You know you are addicted to coffee if...
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 30
Workplace Fun
Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.
--lotsofjokes.com

December 30
Workplace Fun
Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.
--lotsofjokes.com

Back: Past Chuckles





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  Today is Saturday, Sept. 20, the 263rd day of 2014. There are 102 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Recruits can get $500 by enlisting now. Lt Jobe has a recruiting office on Illinois Street.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Superintendent Schnitger formally inaugurated the Rock Island and Davenport Railway Line of the Holmes system by putting on four cars to start.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Wires of the defunct Union Electric Co. are being removed by city electricians.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The Bishop Hill softball team won the championship in WHB"S Mississippi Valley tournament at Douglas Park.
1964 -- 50 years ago: A boom in apartment construction has hit Rock Island, with approximately 300 units either in or near the construction stage or due for an early rezoning decision.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Members of the Bi-State Metropolitan Planning Commission are hoping to revive their push for a new $70 million four-lane bridge spanning the Mississippi River.






(More History)