Chuckles for October 2005



October 03
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary, walking by, asked. "Yes," he replied, "how does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
--lotsofjokes.com

October 04
Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until your spooken to.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 05
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture... of handcuffs.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 06
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
--lotsofjokes.com

October 06
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

October 10
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You help your dog chase its tail.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 11
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 12
Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 13
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
--lotsofjokes.com

October 13
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
--lotsofjokes.com

October 14
Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
To get his boo-ster shot?
--lotsofjokes.com

October 17
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 18
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 19
Where does Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie
--lotsofjokes.com

October 20
What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 21
What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
Decoffinated!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 24
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...
--theholidayspot.com

October 25
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...
--theholidayspot.com

October 26
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...
--theholidayspot.com

October 28
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
--theholidayspot.com

October 31
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets!
--theholidayspot.com

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Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, Oct. 2, the 275th day of 2014. There are 90 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The ladies have adopted the fashion of wearing representations of insects in the flowers on their bonnets. Some look very natural.
1889 -- 125 years ago: T.F. Cary, former Rock Island alderman, has accepted a position as salesman for a Chicago wallpaper house and plans to move to that city.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Work on the new telephone building on 18th Street between 6th and 7th avenues is progressing rapidly.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Rock Island's new theater at 3rd Avenue and 19th Street will have a name significant of its location. The "Rocket" is scheduled to open Thanksgiving Day.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Two of Rock Island's newest water towers were vandalized last night, including the one at 38th Street and 31st Avenue, where police took five Moline boys into custody about 9 p.m..
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some of us who live in the Quad-Cities take the Mississippi River for granted, or at least we used to. But the river is not taken for granted by our visitors. And most Quad-Citians are realizing the importance of the river to this area as increased emphasis is placed on tourism.







(More History)