LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

Chuckles for October 2005



October 03
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary, walking by, asked. "Yes," he replied, "how does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
--lotsofjokes.com

October 04
Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until your spooken to.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 05
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture... of handcuffs.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 06
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
--lotsofjokes.com

October 06
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

October 10
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You help your dog chase its tail.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 11
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 12
Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 13
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
--lotsofjokes.com

October 13
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
--lotsofjokes.com

October 14
Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
To get his boo-ster shot?
--lotsofjokes.com

October 17
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 18
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 19
Where does Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie
--lotsofjokes.com

October 20
What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.
--lotsofjokes.com

October 21
What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
Decoffinated!
--lotsofjokes.com

October 24
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...
--theholidayspot.com

October 25
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...
--theholidayspot.com

October 26
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...
--theholidayspot.com

October 28
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
--theholidayspot.com

October 31
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets!
--theholidayspot.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.






(More History)