Chuckles for September 2005



September 01
Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A. To get a tweetment.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 02
Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 06
Q. Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
A. Because he wasn't very hungry.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 07
Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A. Post Office!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 08
Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 789!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 09
Q. What is the center of gravity?
A. The letter V!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 12
Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?
A. Mice Crispies!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 13
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Rita
Rita who?
Rita book, you might learn something!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 15
Q. If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a baby, who would be the biggest of the three?
A. The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 16
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 19
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger, I'm hungry!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 20
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 20
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 20
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 20
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 21
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 22
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
--lotsofjokes.com

September 23
You know you are addicted to coffee if...
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 26
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors? A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 26
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 26
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 27
Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A. Its easier than walking!
--lotsofjokes.com

September 28
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
--lotsofjokes.com

September 29
Why do they give you a watch when you retire when it's the first time in your life you really don't care what time it is?
--lotsofjokes.com

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Sept. 19, the 262nd day of 2014. There are 103 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Charles M. Osborn of this city, a lawyer of prominence, who voted for Lincoln in 1860 is now out strong for McClellan and will take the stump for him.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The George Fleming company had begun its dried fruit packing in a branch plant on 16th Street, Rock Island, employing nearly a hundred workers.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The cornerstone of the new Eagles home was laid. Building committee members were John Kobeman, Fred Ehmke and Frank Wich.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Former Kaiser Wilhelm, in exile, is sad as the Nazis march with communists.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Ninety-two members of the acappella choir at Davenport's West High School today accepted an invitation to perform at the New York World's Fair on June 13, 1965.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A Rock Island woman is one of 50 winners of $10,000 in cash in the Illinois State Lottery's "Celebration "89" instant ticket game. Dawn Loeffler was the third winner to be chosen through daily drawings that began Aug. 28 and will run 50 consecutive days.






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