Chuckles for June 2005



June 01
Q. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A. A goat!

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 03
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 06
"People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes."
--George Burns

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff!

June 09
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

June 10
The best things in life are free....
or have no interest or payments for one full year.

June 13
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer(1928 - )

June 14
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

June 15
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

June 16
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun guy. Why did he leave the party? Because there wasn't mushroom!
(funny2.com)

June 17
A guy says to a dentist, "$90 to pull a tooth? That's only about one minute's work!" The dentist says, "I can make it last longer if you'd like."
(funny2.com)

June 20
Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper?

June 21
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
(funny2.com)

June 22
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
--Ambrose Bierce

June 23
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
--funny2.com/

June 24
What's brown and sticky?
A stick..
--funny2.com/

June 27
If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
--funny2.com/

June 28
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
--funny2.com/

June 29
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
--funny2.com/

June 30
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."
--funny2.com/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, July 29, the 210th day of 2014. There are 155 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Col. H.F. Sickless informs us that there will be new organization of troops in this state under the call for more men.
1889 -- 125 years ago: James Normoyle arrived home after graduating from West Point with honors in the class of 1889. He was to report to Fort Brady, Mich., as second lieutenant in the 23rd Infantry.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Austria Hungary declared war on Serbia. Germany and Austria refused an invitation of Sir Edward Grey to join Great Britain at a mediation conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Dr. William Mayo, the last of the three famous Mayo brother surgeons, died at the age of 78.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the biggest horse shows of the season was held yesterday at Hillandale Arena on Knoxville Road under the sponsorship of the Illowa Horsemen's Club.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Davenport is like a gigantic carnival this weekend with the Bix Arts Fest taking over 12 square blocks of the downtown area. A festive atmosphere prevailed Friday as thousands of people turned out to sample what the Arts Fest has to offer.








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