Chuckles for June 2005



June 01
Q. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A. A goat!

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 03
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 06
"People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes."
--George Burns

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff!

June 09
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

June 10
The best things in life are free....
or have no interest or payments for one full year.

June 13
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer(1928 - )

June 14
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

June 15
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

June 16
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun guy. Why did he leave the party? Because there wasn't mushroom!
(funny2.com)

June 17
A guy says to a dentist, "$90 to pull a tooth? That's only about one minute's work!" The dentist says, "I can make it last longer if you'd like."
(funny2.com)

June 20
Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper?

June 21
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
(funny2.com)

June 22
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
--Ambrose Bierce

June 23
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
--funny2.com/

June 24
What's brown and sticky?
A stick..
--funny2.com/

June 27
If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
--funny2.com/

June 28
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
--funny2.com/

June 29
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
--funny2.com/

June 30
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."
--funny2.com/

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, May 22, the 142nd day of 2013. There are 223 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: Large quantities of ice from LaCrosse and Lake Pepin are beingshipped on ice boats, towed by steamers to St. Louis and points below.
1888 -- 125 years ago: With the Mississippi River at 18 feet above the low water stage,Rock Island is waging a valiant fight to keep the river from flooding the entire city.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Approval has been given by the city commission for paving 45thStreet between 7th and 11th Avenues.
1938 -- 75 years ago: Herndon Wright, of East Moline, has won the discus-throw title, by aheave of more than 140 feet, to set a new high school record at Champaign.
1963 -- 50 years ago: With the Selective Service Law recently extended by Congress forfour more years, Mrs. Hazel Doris reminded young men that they must register withinfive days after attaining their 18th birthday.
1988 -- 25 years ago: Over 500 Quad-Cities area retired volunteers were honoredrecently for their community services at a Retired Senior Volunteer Program luncheonat Palmer Auditorium in Davenport. Guest speaker, William Moffitt, director of productengineering of Deere & Co., spoke about leadership and stressed the importance ofcommunity volunteers.




(More History)