Chuckles for June 2005



June 01
Q. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A. A goat!

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 02
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 03
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

June 06
"People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes."
--George Burns

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

June 08
Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff!

June 09
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

June 10
The best things in life are free....
or have no interest or payments for one full year.

June 13
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer(1928 - )

June 14
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

June 15
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

June 16
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun guy. Why did he leave the party? Because there wasn't mushroom!
(funny2.com)

June 17
A guy says to a dentist, "$90 to pull a tooth? That's only about one minute's work!" The dentist says, "I can make it last longer if you'd like."
(funny2.com)

June 20
Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper?

June 21
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
(funny2.com)

June 22
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
--Ambrose Bierce

June 23
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
--funny2.com/

June 24
What's brown and sticky?
A stick..
--funny2.com/

June 27
If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
--funny2.com/

June 28
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
--funny2.com/

June 29
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
--funny2.com/

June 30
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."
--funny2.com/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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