Quad-Cities Online

QCOnline.com

RadishMagazine.com

Text size: font - font +

Chuckles for May 2005

May 02
Q. What country makes you shiver?
A. Chile.

May 03
Q. What did one elevator say to the other?
A. I think I'm coming down with something!

May 04
Q. What happens when frogs park illegally?
A. They get toad.

May 05
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

May 06
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.(corsinet.com)

May 09
Q. Why don't anteaters get sick?
A. Because they're full of anty-bodies.

May 10
Q. What did one magnet say to the other?
A. I find you very attractive.

May 10
Q. What did one magnet say to the other?
A. I find you very attractive.
(corsinet.com)

May 11
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.
(corsinet.com)

May 12
Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A. K9P

May 13
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
(jokesandhumor.com)

May 13
Q. Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A. To get to the other tide.

May 16
Q. Why don't oysters give to charity?
A. Because they're shellfish.

May 17
Q. What happens when frogs park illegally?
A. They get toad.

May 18
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
--Unknown

May 19
Q. What do bees do with their honey?
A. They cell it.

May 20
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
Thomas A. Edison
(1847 - 1931)

May 23
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
--Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

May 24
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
--Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)

May 25
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."
--(ahajokes.com)

May 26
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
--Milton Berle

May 27
Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fsh!

May 31
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
--(jokesandhumor.com)

Back: Past Chuckles

Submit event | Search events

Today is Tuesday, May 21, the 141st day of 2013. There are 224 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: On Monday the 11th inst. on Center Ridge in Mercer County,some citizens got out their cannon to celebrate the taking of Richmond. The gun wasoverloaded and burst. No one was injured, but one 30-pound piece went though thesecond story of a house.
1888 -- 125 years ago: The old folks concert at the Harper Theater last night to benefit St.Luke's Cottage Hospital, attracted a large audience.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Unless depredation by vandals in Rock Island parks is halted,special policemen will be assigned to night duty to protect the flowers and other property.
1938 -- 75 years ago: Station WHBF has received a special citation from Washington forits participation in Air Mail Week, which was observed this week throughout the nation.
1963 -- 50 years ago: A 10-year high in employment in the Quad-City area was reachedat the end of the last quarter, according to an industrial employment barometer releasedtoday.
1988 -- 25 years ago: Pee Wee teams will be able to play baseball and softball as usualon Diamond Three at Dorrance Park this summer, but after that, the ball field is doomed.County crews have put the diamond back in shape after heavy trucks marred the playingfield earlier this spring. Illinois Department of Transportation crews drove onto it to makeborings for the relocation of the junction of Illinois 84 and the Port Byron-Hillsdale road.

(More History)