Chuckles for April 2005



April 04
Q. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

April 05
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

April 06
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex.

April 07
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A. Big holes all over Australia!

April 11
Q. How do you make an egg laugh?
A. Tell it a yolk.

April 12
Q. What bone will a dog never eat?
A. A trombone.

April 13
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 14
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

April 15
Q. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

April 18
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils.

April 19
Q. Why did the doughnut shop close?
A. The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

April 20
Q. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A. A cartoon.

April 21
Q. What kind of ties can't you wear?
A. Railroad ties.

April 22
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.

April 25
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.

April 26
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 27
Q. Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
A. He took them to a pignic.

April 28
Q. What clothes does a house wear?
A. Address.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, April 20, the 110th day of 2014. There are 255 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The attention of contractors is called to proposals for building a magazine. The building is to be erected on the south side of the island, above the railroad, nearly opposite Sinnit's ice houses.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Ladies patent leather tip shoes were selling for $3 at the M & K store, and men's spring overcoats were advertised at $7.50.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Fred Feuchter, of Davenport, was elected president of the Tri-City Post Office Clerks club, and Joe Goldsmith, of Rock Island, was named secretary treasurer.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mass vaccination of more than 1,600 employed of the Rock Island Arsenal has been ordered by Col. Norman Ramsey after a 13-year-old daughter of the Arsenal manager became ill with smallpox.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The 1964 Scout-O-Rama of the Sac-Fox Council of Boy Scouts closed a two-day session last evening at the Rock Island Armory with 5,000 paid attendance.
1989 -- 25 years ago: "From the horse and buggy days ... to this" said Mercer County Sheriff Marvin Thirtyacre, waving his hand to indicate the sheriff's department facilities at the new $1.5 million Mercer County Jail in Aledo.




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