Chuckles for April 2005



April 04
Q. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

April 05
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

April 06
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex.

April 07
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A. Big holes all over Australia!

April 11
Q. How do you make an egg laugh?
A. Tell it a yolk.

April 12
Q. What bone will a dog never eat?
A. A trombone.

April 13
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 14
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

April 15
Q. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

April 18
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils.

April 19
Q. Why did the doughnut shop close?
A. The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

April 20
Q. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A. A cartoon.

April 21
Q. What kind of ties can't you wear?
A. Railroad ties.

April 22
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.

April 25
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.

April 26
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 27
Q. Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
A. He took them to a pignic.

April 28
Q. What clothes does a house wear?
A. Address.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, Oct. 2, the 275th day of 2014. There are 90 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The ladies have adopted the fashion of wearing representations of insects in the flowers on their bonnets. Some look very natural.
1889 -- 125 years ago: T.F. Cary, former Rock Island alderman, has accepted a position as salesman for a Chicago wallpaper house and plans to move to that city.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Work on the new telephone building on 18th Street between 6th and 7th avenues is progressing rapidly.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Rock Island's new theater at 3rd Avenue and 19th Street will have a name significant of its location. The "Rocket" is scheduled to open Thanksgiving Day.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Two of Rock Island's newest water towers were vandalized last night, including the one at 38th Street and 31st Avenue, where police took five Moline boys into custody about 9 p.m..
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some of us who live in the Quad-Cities take the Mississippi River for granted, or at least we used to. But the river is not taken for granted by our visitors. And most Quad-Citians are realizing the importance of the river to this area as increased emphasis is placed on tourism.







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