Chuckles for April 2005



April 04
Q. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

April 05
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

April 06
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex.

April 07
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A. Big holes all over Australia!

April 11
Q. How do you make an egg laugh?
A. Tell it a yolk.

April 12
Q. What bone will a dog never eat?
A. A trombone.

April 13
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 14
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

April 15
Q. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

April 18
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils.

April 19
Q. Why did the doughnut shop close?
A. The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

April 20
Q. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A. A cartoon.

April 21
Q. What kind of ties can't you wear?
A. Railroad ties.

April 22
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.

April 25
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.

April 26
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 27
Q. Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
A. He took them to a pignic.

April 28
Q. What clothes does a house wear?
A. Address.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.






(More History)