Chuckles for April 2005



April 04
Q. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

April 05
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

April 06
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex.

April 07
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A. Big holes all over Australia!

April 11
Q. How do you make an egg laugh?
A. Tell it a yolk.

April 12
Q. What bone will a dog never eat?
A. A trombone.

April 13
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 14
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

April 15
Q. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

April 18
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils.

April 19
Q. Why did the doughnut shop close?
A. The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

April 20
Q. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A. A cartoon.

April 21
Q. What kind of ties can't you wear?
A. Railroad ties.

April 22
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.

April 25
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.

April 26
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 27
Q. Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
A. He took them to a pignic.

April 28
Q. What clothes does a house wear?
A. Address.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, Aug. 2, the 214th day of 2014. There are 151 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Because of the National Fast, no paper will be issued from this office tomorrow.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Attracting considerable attention is a sunflower stalk 15 feet high and still growing in the yard of Dr. C. Speidel on 23rd Street in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The municipal bathing beach proposition came up again at the city commission's meeting and a proposition passed, provided that a locker room be constructed at the foot of 7th Street for the accommodation of the bathers.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for erecting a $14,000 warehouse to replace the frame structure at the rear of the Augustana Book Concern were announced.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Hours for tours of the new Deere & Co. Administrative Center on John Deere Road will be changed, effective Monday.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Tuesday night at the Great Mississippi Valley Fair in Davenport the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band gave its fans more than they possibly could have expected. The band took the stage at 9:07 p.m. and didn't leave until 10:40.









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