Chuckles for April 2005



April 04
Q. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

April 05
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

April 06
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex.

April 07
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A. Big holes all over Australia!

April 11
Q. How do you make an egg laugh?
A. Tell it a yolk.

April 12
Q. What bone will a dog never eat?
A. A trombone.

April 13
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 14
Q. What's green and loud?
A. A froghorn.

April 15
Q. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

April 18
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils.

April 19
Q. Why did the doughnut shop close?
A. The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

April 20
Q. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A. A cartoon.

April 21
Q. What kind of ties can't you wear?
A. Railroad ties.

April 22
Q. What is a tree's favorite drink?
A. Root beer.

April 25
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.

April 26
Q. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A. Wet feet.

April 27
Q. Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
A. He took them to a pignic.

April 28
Q. What clothes does a house wear?
A. Address.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

April 29
Q. How does a pig go to the hospital?
A. In a hambulance.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, April 24, the 114th day of 2014. There are 251 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We learn that it is a contemplation to start a paper mill in Rock Island during the summer by a gentleman from the East.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The gates of Oklahoma were swung open at noon today, and a throng of more than 30,000 settlers started over its soil.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Iowa Coliseum Co. was incorporated with $40,000 capital and planned a building on 4th Street between Warren and Green streets in Davenport.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans are being discussed for resurfacing the streets in the entire downtown district of Rock Island.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Some 45 jobs will be created at J.I. Case Co.'s Rock Island plant in a expansion of operations announced yesterday afternoon at the firm's headquarters in Racine, Wis.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Gardeners and farmers cheered, but not all Quad-Citians found joy Saturday as more than an inch of rain fell on the area. Motorists faced dangerous, rain-slick roads as the water activated grease and grime that had built up during dry weather.








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