Chuckles for March 2005



March 01
Q. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
A. Dam!

March 02
Q. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
A. Quattro Sinko..

March 03
The first time I see a jogger smiling,
I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers (1935 - )

March 04
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Granville Hicks
(1901 - 1982)

March 07
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
--Bill Watterson (1958 - )

March 14
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
--Harry S Truman
(1884-1972)

March 15
Q. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A. He was having a bad hare day!

March 16
Q. What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A. A slam duck.

March 17
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
-- Leo J. Burke

March 21
Q. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
A. It has four rabbits' feet

March 22
Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs (X) marks the spot.

March 23
Q. How does the Easter bunny keep his fur neat?
A. With a hare-brush!

March 24
Q. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
A. Join the Hare Force.

March 28
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker

March 29
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
--Galileo Galilei

March 29
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
--Galileo Galilei

March 30
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
--ahajokes.com

March 31
Q. How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A. Buy a deck of cards.

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, May 21, the 141st day of 2013. There are 224 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: On Monday the 11th inst. on Center Ridge in Mercer County,some citizens got out their cannon to celebrate the taking of Richmond. The gun wasoverloaded and burst. No one was injured, but one 30-pound piece went though thesecond story of a house.
1888 -- 125 years ago: The old folks concert at the Harper Theater last night to benefit St.Luke's Cottage Hospital, attracted a large audience.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Unless depredation by vandals in Rock Island parks is halted,special policemen will be assigned to night duty to protect the flowers and other property.
1938 -- 75 years ago: Station WHBF has received a special citation from Washington forits participation in Air Mail Week, which was observed this week throughout the nation.
1963 -- 50 years ago: A 10-year high in employment in the Quad-City area was reachedat the end of the last quarter, according to an industrial employment barometer releasedtoday.
1988 -- 25 years ago: Pee Wee teams will be able to play baseball and softball as usualon Diamond Three at Dorrance Park this summer, but after that, the ball field is doomed.County crews have put the diamond back in shape after heavy trucks marred the playingfield earlier this spring. Illinois Department of Transportation crews drove onto it to makeborings for the relocation of the junction of Illinois 84 and the Port Byron-Hillsdale road.




(More History)