Chuckles for March 2005



March 01
Q. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
A. Dam!

March 02
Q. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
A. Quattro Sinko..

March 03
The first time I see a jogger smiling,
I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers (1935 - )

March 04
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Granville Hicks
(1901 - 1982)

March 07
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
--Bill Watterson (1958 - )

March 14
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
--Harry S Truman
(1884-1972)

March 15
Q. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A. He was having a bad hare day!

March 16
Q. What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A. A slam duck.

March 17
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
-- Leo J. Burke

March 21
Q. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
A. It has four rabbits' feet

March 22
Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs (X) marks the spot.

March 23
Q. How does the Easter bunny keep his fur neat?
A. With a hare-brush!

March 24
Q. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
A. Join the Hare Force.

March 28
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker

March 29
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
--Galileo Galilei

March 29
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
--Galileo Galilei

March 30
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
--ahajokes.com

March 31
Q. How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A. Buy a deck of cards.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Aug. 22, the 234th day of 2014. There are 131 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: The ferry boat, Rock Island, having been put in good order at the boat yard is now making her regular trips, much to the gratification of those who have to cross the river.
1889 -- 125 years ago: W.J. Gamble, for many years superintendent of the Moline & Rock Island railway, leased the Fourth Avenue Hotel and renovated and refurnished it throughout.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Pending the building of new public schools or additions to the present ones to provide adequate room for all the children, the board of education decided that pupils younger than 6 years old would not be accepted in Rock Island schools.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The fifth annual New Windsor Fair and Horse show, which has been delayed for two days because of unfavorable weather, got off to a new start last night. The parade was held this morning.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Rock Island County Fair and Rodeo will celebrate its silver anniversary this year. The fair opens Tuesday and will run through Saturday and offers entertainment and activity for young and old.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Earl Hanson School, Rock Island, joins the Program to Assist Latch Key Student, which aids working parents. PALS is a before and after school program for grades 1-6 in certain Rock Island public and private schools.




(More History)