Chuckles for October 2004



October 19
Q. Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
A. Because they don't have any body to go out with!
(theholidayspot.com)

October 20
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
10).You get winded from knocking on the door...
(ahajokes.com)

October 21
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
9).You have to have another kid chew the candy for you...
(ahajokes.com)

October 22
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
8).You ask for high fiber candy only.
(ahajokes.com)

October 25
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
7).When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
(ahajokes.com)

October 26
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
6).People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask!
(ahajokes.com)

October 27
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
5).When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
(ahajokes.com)

October 28
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
4). By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3). You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
(ahajokes.com)

October 29
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
2). You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
and last but not least...
1). 1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
(ahajokes.com)

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)