Chuckles for September 2004
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose,
until you lose.
O Lord, help me to be pure,
but not yet.
-- Saint Augustine
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
--Laurence J. Peter
Is there life before coffee?
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
-- Orson Welles (1915-1985)
Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.
-- Jacquelyn Mitchard
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
-- George Ade
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
-- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!
Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
-- Maureen Murphy
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
-- Russell Baker (1925 - )
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
-- Jane Caminos
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