Chuckles for September 2004



September 01
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose,
until you lose.
--ahajokes.com

September 02
O Lord, help me to be pure,
but not yet.
-- Saint Augustine

September 07
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
--Laurence J. Peter

September 08
Is there life before coffee?
--ahajokes.com

September 09
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
-- Unknown

September 10
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
-- Orson Welles (1915-1985)

September 13
Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
--ahajokes.com

September 14
If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
--ahajokes.com

September 15
Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.
-- Jacquelyn Mitchard

September 16
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

September 17
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
-- George Ade

September 17
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
-- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

September 20
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!
--ahajokes.com

September 21
Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.
--ahajokes.com

September 22
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
-- Maureen Murphy

September 23
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
-- Russell Baker (1925 - )

September 24
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
-- Jane Caminos

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Monday, May 20, the 140th day of 2013. There are 225 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: A petition is being circulated asking the city council to order awell bored in Market Square. It would be a great accommodation to the public.
1888 -- 125 years ago: At 1 p.m. on May 18 the Mississippi River flooded its banks atRock Island and destroyed the warehouse of the Rock Island Lumber Co. and damagedRock Island Arsenal power plant. Total loss is estimated at $100,000.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Residents of Sough Rock Island Township are circulating apetition favoring the annexation of that area to the City of Rock Island.
1938 -- 75 years ago: A group of state members of the National Grandmothers Clubmeeting in Rock Island are making plans to petition for the observance of a NationalGrandmothers Day.
1963 -- 50 years ago: Deere and Co. reported today that its U.S. and Canadian sales forthe first half of the 1963 fiscal year set an all time record of $323,716.628.
1988 -- 25 years ago: William G. Lawrence, first administrative director, has retired fromPECO Enterprises, Inc. Prior to his service at PECO, Mr. Lawrence was the civilianpersonnel officer at the Rock Island Arsenal.






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