Chuckles for March 2003



March 03
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.-- George Burns

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 05
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.-- Jonathan Winters

March 06
Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? Student: Well...yes and no.

March 07
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

March 10
The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. -- tech-sol.net/humor/

March 11
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation.-- Tom Stoppard

March 12
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. --ech-sol.net/humor/

March 13
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 14
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.-- Ogden Nash

March 17
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 18
Sign you're really getting old: "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

March 19
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 21
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

March 24
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

March 25
Only in America ......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 26
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 27
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -- Steven Wright

March 28
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

March 31
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
(tech-sol.net/humor/)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Wednesday, April 23, the 113th day of 2014. There are 252 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: Some persons are negotiating for 80 feet of ground on Illinois Street with a view of erecting four stores thereon. It would serve a better purpose if the money was invested in neat tenement houses.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Central station, car house and stables of the Moline-Rock Island Horse Railway line of the Holmes syndicate, together with 15 cars and 42 head of horses, were destroyed by fire. The loss was at $15,000.
1914 — 100 years ago: Vera Cruz, Mexico, after a day and night of resistance to American forces, gradually ceased opposition. The American forces took complete control of the city.
1939 — 75 years ago: Dr. R. Bruce Collins was reelected for a second term as president of the Lower Rock Island County Tuberculosis Association.
1964 — 50 years ago: Work is scheduled to begin this summer on construction of a new men's residence complex and an addition to the dining facilities at Westerlin Hall at Augustana College.
1989 — 25 years ago: Special Olympics competitors were triple winners at Rock Island High School Saturday. The participants vanquished the rain that fell during the competition, and some won their events; but most important, they triumphed over their own disabilities.




(More History)