Chuckles for March 2003



March 03
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.-- George Burns

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 05
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.-- Jonathan Winters

March 06
Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? Student: Well...yes and no.

March 07
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

March 10
The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. -- tech-sol.net/humor/

March 11
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation.-- Tom Stoppard

March 12
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. --ech-sol.net/humor/

March 13
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 14
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.-- Ogden Nash

March 17
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 18
Sign you're really getting old: "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

March 19
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 21
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

March 24
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

March 25
Only in America ......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 26
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 27
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -- Steven Wright

March 28
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

March 31
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
(tech-sol.net/humor/)

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept 2, the 245th day of 2014. There are 120 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: It is estimated that 300,000 people attended the recent Democratic convention in Chicago when Gen. George B. McClellan of New Jersey was nominated as a candidate for president of the United States.
1889 — 125 years ago: Alderman Frank Ill, Winslow Howard and Captain J.M. Montgomery returned from Milwaukee, where they attended the national Grand Army of the Republic encampment.
1914 — 100 years ago: Three members of the Rock Island YMCA accepted positions as physical directors of other associations. Albert Cook went to Kewanee, C.D. Curtis to Canton and Willis Woods to Leavenworth, Kan.
1939 — 75 years ago: Former President Herbert Hoover appealed for national support of President F.D. Roosevelt and Congress in every effort to keep the United States out of war.
1964 — 50 years ago: The Rock Island Junior chamber pf Commerce has received answers to about 65 % of the 600 questionnaires mailed out recently in a "Community Attitude Survey" to analyze sentiments of citizens towards their city's various recreational, educational, and civic service programs.
1989 — 25 years ago: The two thunderstorms passing through the Quad Cities last night and early today left some area residents reaching for their flashlights.






(More History)