LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

Chuckles for March 2003



March 03
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.-- George Burns

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 04
He said..."What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said..."Turn sideways and look in the mirror." --(tech-sol.net)

March 05
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.-- Jonathan Winters

March 06
Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? Student: Well...yes and no.

March 07
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

March 10
The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. -- tech-sol.net/humor/

March 11
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation.-- Tom Stoppard

March 12
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. --ech-sol.net/humor/

March 13
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 14
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.-- Ogden Nash

March 17
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. --tech-sol.net/humor/

March 18
Sign you're really getting old: "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

March 19
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 20
Confucius say's...Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

March 21
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

March 24
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

March 25
Only in America ......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 26
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
(tech-sol.net/humor)

March 27
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -- Steven Wright

March 28
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

March 31
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
(tech-sol.net/humor/)

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.






(More History)