Chuckles for November 2001



November 01
What would you get if you crossed a dog with a famous phantom? The Phantom of the Slobbera! www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

November 01
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. "What the heck did you do that for!?!" the man screams. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" The man says, "No I don't, you IDIOT... But my wife out in the car still does!" www.jokesgalore.com

November 02
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? A dog that chases cars - and catches them!! www.kidsjokes.co.uk/

November 06
"Write a wise saying, and your name will live forever" --Anonymous--

November 08
What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla? An animal that puts you out a night! www.kidsjokes.co.uk

November 13
What's a frogs favourite game in winter ? Ice hoppy! www.kidsjokes.co.uk

November 14
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked: "What happened to the flea?" oneliners-and-proverbs.com

November 16
One day, the owner of a very large daily newspaper company walked down the halls and greated one of his workers, "Jones, how long have you been working here?" Jones replied, "Ever since I heard you coming down the hall." www.freefunny.com

November 16
One day, the owner of a very large daily newspaper company walked down the halls and greeted one of his workers, "Jones, how long have you been working here?" Jones replied, "Ever since I heard you coming down the hall." www.freefunny.com

November 19
A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? oneliners-and-proverbs.com

November 20
Two rednecks had just gone fishing and brought in the largest amount of fish they'd ever seen. One said to the other, "Did you mark the place where the fishin' was so good?" "Yea, I put an "X" on the side of the boat." "You idiot!! What if we take a different boat next time?" freefunny.com

November 21
You Just Might Be A Redneck If.....You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. jokesgalore.com

November 23
What did Noah do while spending time on the ark? Fished, but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms! kidsjokes.co.uk

November 26
How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds? Washington, D.C. kidsjokes.co.uk

November 27
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils! www.kidsjokes.co.uk

November 28
Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped! www.oneliners-and-proverbs.com

November 29
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; They just make the best of everything that comes along their way. www.oneliners-and-proverbs.com

November 30
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. (www.oneliners-and-proverbs.com)

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, July 28, the 209th day of 2014. There are 156 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Port Byron passengers and mails will be transported by the Sterling and Rock Island railroad.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The congregation of the First Methodist church worshiped in Harper's theater, where construction work is being done at the church site.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Three-eye baseball for Moline was assured the Danville Franchise will be transferred to the Plow city.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Roseville Methodist Church is observing its 100th anniversary.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The last remaining unfinished portion of Interstate 80 between the Quad-Cities and Joliet will be opened to traffic by Aug 12.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Of all the highlights of the last 12 years, this is the greatest of all, said Dennis Hitchcock, producer director of Circa '21 Dinner Playhouse, as he torched the mortgage, clearing a $220,000 loan financing the downtown Rock Island theater's beginnings in 1977.




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