Chuckles for October 2001

October 01
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. oneliners-and-proverbs.com

October 02
What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle? Poloroids. jokesgalore.com

October 03
What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies. jokesgalore.com

October 04
What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument? A trom-bone!

October 05
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs! jokesgalore.com

October 08
What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers! jokesgalore.com

October 09
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! jokesgalore.com

October 09
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! jokesgalore.com

October 10
Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all of the boys would make fun of me. Moe: What did you do? Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse! freefunny.com

October 11
"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two." freefunny.com

October 12
What do you call a monster with no neck? The Lost Neck Monster. jokesgalore.com

October 15
Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine. jokesgalore.com

October 16
Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish. the-jokes.com

October 17
Q: Waiter, this soup tastes funny ? A: Then why aren't you laughing! www.jokefile.co.uk

October 18
There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating! www.jokeaday.com

October 19
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing! www.jokeaday.com

October 22
A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was President." oneliners-and-proverbs.com

October 23
Famous Last Words * Nice doggie. * I'll get a world record for this. * He's probably just hibernating. * These are the good kind of mushrooms. * It's strong enough for both of us. * That's odd. comedylab.com

October 24
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this ? Ever since I was a puppy! http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes

October 25
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch! http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes

October 26
Traffic cop: "I'm glad to hear the chief of police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." www.jokeaday.com

October 29
What did the dog say to the skeleton? "I'd like to get to gnaw you." www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

October 30
What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica! www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

October 31
What would you get if you crossed a dog with a famous phantom? The Phantom of the Slobbera!www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Monday, Sept. 22, the 265th day of 2014. There are 100 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The board of education has granted Thursday as a holiday for the children, with the expectation that parents who desire to have their children attend the Scott County Fair will do so on that day and save irregularity the rest of the week.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The guard fence around the new cement walk at the Harper House has been removed. The blocks are diamond shape, alternating in black and white.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Rev. R.B. Williams, former pastor of the First Methodist Church, Rock Island, was named superintendent of the Rock Island District.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Abnormally high temperatures and lack of rainfall in Illinois during the past week have speeded maturing of corn and soybean crops.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Installation of a new television system in St. Anthony's Hospital, which includes a closed circuit channel as well as the three regular Quad-Cities channels, has been completed and now is in operation.
1989 -- 25 years ago: When the new Moline High School was built in 1958, along with it were plans to construct a football field in the bowl near 34th Street on the campus. Wednesday afternoon, more than 30 years later, the Moline Board of Education Athletic Board sent the ball rolling toward the possible construction of that field by asking superintendent Richard Hennigan to take to the board of education a proposal to hire a consultant.

(More History)