Chuckles for October 2001



October 01
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. oneliners-and-proverbs.com

October 02
What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle? Poloroids. jokesgalore.com

October 03
What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies. jokesgalore.com

October 04
What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument? A trom-bone!

October 05
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs! jokesgalore.com

October 08
What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers! jokesgalore.com

October 09
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! jokesgalore.com

October 09
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! jokesgalore.com

October 10
Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all of the boys would make fun of me. Moe: What did you do? Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse! freefunny.com

October 11
"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two." freefunny.com

October 12
What do you call a monster with no neck? The Lost Neck Monster. jokesgalore.com

October 15
Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine. jokesgalore.com

October 16
Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish. the-jokes.com

October 17
Q: Waiter, this soup tastes funny ? A: Then why aren't you laughing! www.jokefile.co.uk

October 18
There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating! www.jokeaday.com

October 19
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing! www.jokeaday.com

October 22
A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was President." oneliners-and-proverbs.com

October 23
Famous Last Words * Nice doggie. * I'll get a world record for this. * He's probably just hibernating. * These are the good kind of mushrooms. * It's strong enough for both of us. * That's odd. comedylab.com

October 24
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this ? Ever since I was a puppy! http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes

October 25
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch! http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes

October 26
Traffic cop: "I'm glad to hear the chief of police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." www.jokeaday.com

October 29
What did the dog say to the skeleton? "I'd like to get to gnaw you." www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

October 30
What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica! www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

October 31
What would you get if you crossed a dog with a famous phantom? The Phantom of the Slobbera!www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Oct. 20, the 293rd day of 2014. There are 72 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The store of Devoe and Crampton was entered and robbed of about $500 worth of gold pens and pocket cutlery last night.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Michael Malloy was named president of the Tri-City Stone Cutters Union.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dewitte C. Poole, former Moline newspaperman serving as vice consul general for the United States government in Paris, declared in a letter to friends that the once gay Paris is a city of sadness and desolation.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for the construction of an $80,000 wholesale bakery at 2011 4th Ave. were announced by Harry and Nick Coin, of Rock Island. It is to be known as the Banquet Bakery.
1964 -- 50 years ago: An application has been filed for a state permit to organize a savings and loan association in Moline, it was announced. The applicants are Ben Butterworth, A.B. Lundahl, C. Richard Evans, John Harris, George Crampton and William Getz, all of Moline, Charles Roberts, Rock Island, and Charles Johnson, of Hampton.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Indian summer is quickly disappearing as temperatures slide into the 40s and 50s this week. Last week, highs were in the 80s.


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