Chuckles for August 2001

August 01
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee

August 02
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill

August 07
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -- Erica Jong

August 10
From an (allegedly) actual job review: ``This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.''

August 14
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -- Roseanne Barr

August 16
Always try to stop talking before people stop listening. --

August 24
No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck. --

August 27
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

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