Chuckles for August 2001



August 01
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee

August 02
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill

August 07
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -- Erica Jong

August 10
From an (allegedly) actual job review: ``This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.''

August 14
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -- Roseanne Barr

August 16
Always try to stop talking before people stop listening. -- http://jokes.glowport.com/

August 24
No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck. -- www.siglets.com/

August 27
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

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Local events heading








  Today is Monday, Sept. 15, the 258th day of 2014. There are 107 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: The Rock River Illinois conference of the Methodist Church will hold its annual sessions this week in this city. About 200 ministers are expected to attend.
1889 — 125 years ago: The Brush electric company had prepared a new schedule of rates to become effective Oct. 1, with slightly increased rates to consumers.
1914 — 100 years ago: The Rock Island Aerie of Eagles made plans for the laying of the cornerstone of a new $50,000 Eagles Home. W.C. Maucker is to be master of ceremonies.
1939 — 75 years ago: Col. Charles A. Lindbergh spoke on "America and Foreign War" in a neutrality debate over nation wide radio hook-up.
1964 — 50 years ago: Two awards of the National Safety council were presented to the city of Rock Island today at noon at a meeting held in the YWCA.
1989 — 25 years ago: The final tallies are not yet in for the summer 1989 Quad-Cities tourism season, but officials are expecting the number of visitors to the area to be at least as good as, if not better than, 1988.






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