Chuckles for August 2001



August 01
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee

August 02
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill

August 07
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -- Erica Jong

August 10
From an (allegedly) actual job review: ``This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.''

August 14
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -- Roseanne Barr

August 16
Always try to stop talking before people stop listening. -- http://jokes.glowport.com/

August 24
No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck. -- www.siglets.com/

August 27
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Aug. 1, the 213th day of 2014. There are 152 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: A mad dog was shot in Davenport after biting several other canines and snapping at several children. The police should abate this nuisance — there are about 500 dogs in this city that ought to be killed at once.
1889 — 125 years ago: Track laying operations on 2nd Avenue, stopped by the Moline-Rock Island company last spring for lack of rail, have been resumed.
1914 — 100 years ago: Bulletins allowed to come through the strong continental censorship of all war news indicated that Germany was advancing with a dash against both Russia and France.
1939 — 75 years ago: Emil J Klein, of Rock Island, was elected commander of Rock Island Post 200, American Legion.
1964 — 50 years ago: Members of the Davenport police department and their families are being invited to the department's family picnic to be held Aug. 27 at the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds.
1989 — 25 years ago: Beginning this fall, Black Hawk College will offer a continuing education course in horseback riding at the Wright Way Equestrian Center, Moline, located just east of the Deere Administration Center.




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