GIRLS' STATE TRACK AND FIELD UPDATES

Chuckles for May 2001



May 01
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -- George Carlin

May 07
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

May 08
Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.

May 11
"Wagner's music is better than it sounds" -- Mark Twain

May 15
Attitude might not catch fish, but it helps when you don't. (oneliners-and-proverbs.com)

May 16
If ever you are feeling unwanted or insignificant, try missing a couple of mortgage repayments.

May 21
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

May 22
The use of medical marijuana has been ruled illegal, by a group of justices who are truly experts in the field… After all, they ARE known as the “High Court”! (www.newsjoke.com)

May 24
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog

May 26
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: It is one thing they can understand

May 29
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason

May 30
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Back: Past Chuckles




Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, May 18, the 138th day of 2013. There are 227 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: A large variety of children's wagons and gigs have arrived in thecity and are being sold at war prices.
1888 -- 125 years ago: All Rock Island retail houses, with the exception of a clothingstore and a jewelry store, have agreed to early closing hours during the summer months.The store will be closed at 8 p.m.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Baseball enthusiasts in Rock Island are attempting to raise$20,000 to keep the Island City Park open, despite the fact that the city has no franchise inorganized baseball this year.
1938 -- 75 years ago: The organization of a third rural young people's unit will beundertaken tomorrow night at the Milan Presbyterian Church, with Mrs. Mildred K.Wellman, home advisor, and Robert Smith, county farm adviser in charge.
1963 -- 50 years ago: Deere & Co. will begin a "big switch" on its telephone systemMonday morning. The extension numbers of all 1,600 telephones on the firm's EastMoline and Moline exchanges will be changed Monday morning.
1988 -- 25 years ago: East Moline's June Jamboree VI -- Nostalgia Days, will seemlike a '60s revival with the appearance of stars like Bobby Vee, Freddie Cannon, PeterNoone, Turtles, The Grass Roots and Lou Christie. This year's festival has beenexpanded to five days, June 22-26, at the Northeast Park complex.




(More History)