Chuckles for April 2001



April 02
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -- Mark Twain

April 03
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? A: The first, Niagara; the second, Viagra! (www.humor.com)

April 06
*"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -- Christopher Morley

April 09
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” -- B. Franklin

April 11
You Know You're Over the Hill When... You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. (www.jokester.com)

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 16
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

April 17
Old musicians never die. They just decompose.

April 19
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.

April 20
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.

April 24
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Monday, April 21, the 111th day of 2014. There are 254 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The female sex seems to have gone crazy on the subject of dry goods. When high prices keep them from increasing their wardrobes, they turn to stealing. Yard goods, hats, shoes and other items are being picked up and carried home.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Members of Everts Commandery No. 18, Knights Templar, under Commander H.C. Cleaveland, marched from the Masonic Temple to Trinity Episcopal Church for their annual Easter services.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Nate Hultgren pitched the Augustana College baseball team to a 10-3 victory over Carthage, striking out 11 men and allowing only four hits.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Marvel Leonhardi, a Rock Island High School senior, was the winner of an essay contest on advertising sponsored by The Argus and Advertising Age, a national advertising publication.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Augustana College band drew a crowd of 1,200 people for its annual home concert in Centennial Hall. The size of the crowd was indicative of the fact the band is rapidly approaching the stature of the Augustana Choir.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A benefit to raise money for extracurricular activities in the Rock Island Milan School District will be April 27 at the Quad City Downs harness race track. People buying $17.50 tickets to the second annual "Night at the Quad City Downs" will be entitled to an evening of harness racing and dinner.






(More History)