Chuckles for April 2001



April 02
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -- Mark Twain

April 03
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? A: The first, Niagara; the second, Viagra! (www.humor.com)

April 06
*"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -- Christopher Morley

April 09
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” -- B. Franklin

April 11
You Know You're Over the Hill When... You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. (www.jokester.com)

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 16
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

April 17
Old musicians never die. They just decompose.

April 19
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.

April 20
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.

April 24
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, Aug. 2, the 214th day of 2014. There are 151 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Because of the National Fast, no paper will be issued from this office tomorrow.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Attracting considerable attention is a sunflower stalk 15 feet high and still growing in the yard of Dr. C. Speidel on 23rd Street in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The municipal bathing beach proposition came up again at the city commission's meeting and a proposition passed, provided that a locker room be constructed at the foot of 7th Street for the accommodation of the bathers.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for erecting a $14,000 warehouse to replace the frame structure at the rear of the Augustana Book Concern were announced.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Hours for tours of the new Deere & Co. Administrative Center on John Deere Road will be changed, effective Monday.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Tuesday night at the Great Mississippi Valley Fair in Davenport the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band gave its fans more than they possibly could have expected. The band took the stage at 9:07 p.m. and didn't leave until 10:40.









(More History)