Chuckles for April 2001



April 02
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -- Mark Twain

April 03
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? A: The first, Niagara; the second, Viagra! (www.humor.com)

April 06
*"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -- Christopher Morley

April 09
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” -- B. Franklin

April 11
You Know You're Over the Hill When... You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. (www.jokester.com)

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 16
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

April 17
Old musicians never die. They just decompose.

April 19
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.

April 20
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.

April 24
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.

Back: Past Chuckles






Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept 2, the 245th day of 2014. There are 120 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: It is estimated that 300,000 people attended the recent Democratic convention in Chicago when Gen. George B. McClellan of New Jersey was nominated as a candidate for president of the United States.
1889 — 125 years ago: Alderman Frank Ill, Winslow Howard and Captain J.M. Montgomery returned from Milwaukee, where they attended the national Grand Army of the Republic encampment.
1914 — 100 years ago: Three members of the Rock Island YMCA accepted positions as physical directors of other associations. Albert Cook went to Kewanee, C.D. Curtis to Canton and Willis Woods to Leavenworth, Kan.
1939 — 75 years ago: Former President Herbert Hoover appealed for national support of President F.D. Roosevelt and Congress in every effort to keep the United States out of war.
1964 — 50 years ago: The Rock Island Junior chamber pf Commerce has received answers to about 65 % of the 600 questionnaires mailed out recently in a "Community Attitude Survey" to analyze sentiments of citizens towards their city's various recreational, educational, and civic service programs.
1989 — 25 years ago: The two thunderstorms passing through the Quad Cities last night and early today left some area residents reaching for their flashlights.






(More History)