Chuckles for April 2001



April 02
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -- Mark Twain

April 03
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? A: The first, Niagara; the second, Viagra! (www.humor.com)

April 06
*"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -- Christopher Morley

April 09
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” -- B. Franklin

April 11
You Know You're Over the Hill When... You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. (www.jokester.com)

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 16
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

April 17
Old musicians never die. They just decompose.

April 19
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.

April 20
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.

April 24
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Aug. 22, the 234th day of 2014. There are 131 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: The ferry boat, Rock Island, having been put in good order at the boat yard is now making her regular trips, much to the gratification of those who have to cross the river.
1889 -- 125 years ago: W.J. Gamble, for many years superintendent of the Moline & Rock Island railway, leased the Fourth Avenue Hotel and renovated and refurnished it throughout.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Pending the building of new public schools or additions to the present ones to provide adequate room for all the children, the board of education decided that pupils younger than 6 years old would not be accepted in Rock Island schools.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The fifth annual New Windsor Fair and Horse show, which has been delayed for two days because of unfavorable weather, got off to a new start last night. The parade was held this morning.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Rock Island County Fair and Rodeo will celebrate its silver anniversary this year. The fair opens Tuesday and will run through Saturday and offers entertainment and activity for young and old.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Earl Hanson School, Rock Island, joins the Program to Assist Latch Key Student, which aids working parents. PALS is a before and after school program for grades 1-6 in certain Rock Island public and private schools.




(More History)