Chuckles for April 2001



April 02
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat." -- Mark Twain

April 03
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? A: The first, Niagara; the second, Viagra! (www.humor.com)

April 06
*"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -- Christopher Morley

April 09
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” -- B. Franklin

April 11
You Know You're Over the Hill When... You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. (www.jokester.com)

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 12
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

April 16
An atheist's worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank.

April 17
Old musicians never die. They just decompose.

April 19
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.

April 20
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.

April 24
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.

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Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, May 18, the 138th day of 2013. There are 227 days left in the year.
1863 -- 150 years ago: A large variety of children's wagons and gigs have arrived in thecity and are being sold at war prices.
1888 -- 125 years ago: All Rock Island retail houses, with the exception of a clothingstore and a jewelry store, have agreed to early closing hours during the summer months.The store will be closed at 8 p.m.
1913 -- 100 years ago: Baseball enthusiasts in Rock Island are attempting to raise$20,000 to keep the Island City Park open, despite the fact that the city has no franchise inorganized baseball this year.
1938 -- 75 years ago: The organization of a third rural young people's unit will beundertaken tomorrow night at the Milan Presbyterian Church, with Mrs. Mildred K.Wellman, home advisor, and Robert Smith, county farm adviser in charge.
1963 -- 50 years ago: Deere & Co. will begin a "big switch" on its telephone systemMonday morning. The extension numbers of all 1,600 telephones on the firm's EastMoline and Moline exchanges will be changed Monday morning.
1988 -- 25 years ago: East Moline's June Jamboree VI -- Nostalgia Days, will seemlike a '60s revival with the appearance of stars like Bobby Vee, Freddie Cannon, PeterNoone, Turtles, The Grass Roots and Lou Christie. This year's festival has beenexpanded to five days, June 22-26, at the Northeast Park complex.




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