Chuckles for November 2000



November 03
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnson

November 06
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. -- Chinese proverb

November 10
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.

November 14
The trouble with political jokes is -- they get elected.

November 17
Lettin' the cat outta the bad is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in -- Will Rogers

November 20
Sacred cows make the best hamburger!

November 21
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. -- Abraham Lincoln

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 28
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -- Mae West

November 29
Fifth grader on science: "Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

November 30
From the safety crew: "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

November 30
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, April 18, the 108th day of 2014. There are 257 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: A new steamer, Keithsburg, now is at our levee taking on board the balance of her fixtures preparatory to assuming her position on the daily Rock Island and Keokuk line.
1889 -- 125 years ago: C.W. Hawes was appointed deputy county clerk by county clerk Donaldson.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Mrs. O.E. child, of Moline, was named president of the Women's Home Missionary Society of the Methodist Church Rock Island District of the Central Illinois conference.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Augustana College is making plans for a drive for funds to erect a field house and make football field improvements.
1964 -- 50 years ago: A expanded election coverage system featuring a 16-foot chalkboard showing up to the minute running totals, attracted a large and enthusiastic crowd to The Argus newsroom last night.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Balloons frame Rock Island attorney Stewart Winstein who was given a surprise party in the rotunda of the Rock Island County Courthouse on Thursday to honor his 50th year of practicing law.




(More History)