Chuckles for November 2000



November 03
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnson

November 06
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. -- Chinese proverb

November 10
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.

November 14
The trouble with political jokes is -- they get elected.

November 17
Lettin' the cat outta the bad is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in -- Will Rogers

November 20
Sacred cows make the best hamburger!

November 21
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. -- Abraham Lincoln

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 28
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -- Mae West

November 29
Fifth grader on science: "Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

November 30
From the safety crew: "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

November 30
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Local events heading








  Today is Sunday, July 27, the 208th day of 2014. There are 157 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The Rock Island Paper Mill is now operating. It is an establishment which our people ought to encourage by saving all rags for the mill, where you can get cash and the highest prices for them.
1889 -- 125 years ago: E. W. Robinson purchased from J.T. Miller the livery stable on the triangle south of Market Square.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Henry Kramer was elected president of the Tri-City Typothetae Franklin Club, which took the place of the Tri-City Ben Franklin Club.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Mrs. Floyd Furh, Illinois City, was first-place winner in the second annual Gov. Horner Farm floral contest.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Nearly 4,000 people are expected to attend weekend sessions of the Jehovah's Witnesses Assembly being held at the Masonic Temple.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The B-29 Super-Fortress bomber is impressive looking, and it did the job during World War II. Its claim to fame is dropping the atomic bombs in Japan to end the war. Only one B-29 is operational in the world today. It is on display at the Quad City Airport in Moline until Friday.






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