Chuckles for November 2000



November 03
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnson

November 06
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. -- Chinese proverb

November 10
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.

November 14
The trouble with political jokes is -- they get elected.

November 17
Lettin' the cat outta the bad is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in -- Will Rogers

November 20
Sacred cows make the best hamburger!

November 21
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. -- Abraham Lincoln

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 28
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -- Mae West

November 29
Fifth grader on science: "Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

November 30
From the safety crew: "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

November 30
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Local events heading








  Today is Saturday, Aug. 23, the 235th day of 2014. There are 130 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Telegraph reports state that, about 6 o'clock on the evening of the 20th, Quantrill, with about 800 of his thieves and robbers, surrounded Lawrence, Kan., and burned it to the ground.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Newton Beer's production of "Lost in London," which had a successful run for three seasons, was presented at Harper's Theater.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German army commanded by Fran Duke Albrecht of Wurtemburg defeated the French army at Neufchmtenu.
1939 -- 75 years ago: John Deere Harvester Works in East Moline is starting a four-story, $104,000 addition to the combine assembly building.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Short Hills Country Club held onto its lead yesterday despite a rally by host Davenport Country Club and claimed the team title in the Sunshine Cup golf series.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Quad-Citians can look forward to more excitement and fun at this year's Rock Island Labor Day parade at 9:30 a.m. Sept 4, say organizers. This years theme is "Celebrate Rock Island."






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