Chuckles for November 2000



November 03
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnson

November 06
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. -- Chinese proverb

November 10
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.

November 14
The trouble with political jokes is -- they get elected.

November 17
Lettin' the cat outta the bad is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in -- Will Rogers

November 20
Sacred cows make the best hamburger!

November 21
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. -- Abraham Lincoln

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 27
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!

November 28
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -- Mae West

November 29
Fifth grader on science: "Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

November 30
From the safety crew: "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

November 30
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Local events heading








  Today is Tuesday, Sept 2, the 245th day of 2014. There are 120 days left in the year.

1864 — 150 years ago: It is estimated that 300,000 people attended the recent Democratic convention in Chicago when Gen. George B. McClellan of New Jersey was nominated as a candidate for president of the United States.
1889 — 125 years ago: Alderman Frank Ill, Winslow Howard and Captain J.M. Montgomery returned from Milwaukee, where they attended the national Grand Army of the Republic encampment.
1914 — 100 years ago: Three members of the Rock Island YMCA accepted positions as physical directors of other associations. Albert Cook went to Kewanee, C.D. Curtis to Canton and Willis Woods to Leavenworth, Kan.
1939 — 75 years ago: Former President Herbert Hoover appealed for national support of President F.D. Roosevelt and Congress in every effort to keep the United States out of war.
1964 — 50 years ago: The Rock Island Junior chamber pf Commerce has received answers to about 65 % of the 600 questionnaires mailed out recently in a "Community Attitude Survey" to analyze sentiments of citizens towards their city's various recreational, educational, and civic service programs.
1989 — 25 years ago: The two thunderstorms passing through the Quad Cities last night and early today left some area residents reaching for their flashlights.






(More History)