Chuckles for October 2000

October 02
How many Psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes 5 trips

October 03
The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.

October 08
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds demand.

October 10
You've really bought a cheap PC if... 1. All the dogs in your neighborhood start howling whenver you turn it on; the screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"; and the only chip inside is a Dorito.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. (

October 13
Seen in a newspaper: Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

October 18
Newspaper ad: 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

October 19
Newspaper ad: Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

October 23
Newspaper ad: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

October 24
Whats the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes, whack!...'damn!' And a skydiver goes 'damn!'... whack!

October 25
Newspaper ad: Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Benefits: Blue Cross Medical Insurance and salary.

October 26
Military saying: ``The easy way is always mined.''

October 30
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -- Erma Bombeck

October 31
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Thursday, April 17, the 107th day of 2014. There are 258 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Journeymen shoemakers of Rock Island struck for higher wages yesterday morning, asking 25 percent increases. Employers have acceded to their demand.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Lighting struck wires of the Merchants Electric Light Co. during a furious storm, and many Rock Island business houses were compelled to resort to gas as a means of illumination.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Members of the First Church of Christ, Scientist, decided to erect a new edifice at a cost of about $60,000.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Willard Anderson, junior forward for the Augustana College basketball team, which won 17 out of 22 contests, was elected captain of the quintet.
1964 -- 50 years ago: John Hoffman, Moline, president of the Sac-Fox Council of Boy Scouts, will be honored for his 50 years in scouting by members of the council at a dinner Thursday evening.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Quad-Cities has what is believed to be the area's first elite-class gymnast. It's the stuff upon which Olympic competitors are made. Tiffany Chapman, of Rock Island, not only has earned the highest possible gymnast ranking, she won the honor at age 11.

(More History)