Chuckles for October 2000



October 02
How many Psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes 5 trips

October 03
The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.

October 08
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds demand.

October 10
You've really bought a cheap PC if... 1. All the dogs in your neighborhood start howling whenver you turn it on; the screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"; and the only chip inside is a Dorito.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. (www.joker.org)

October 13
Seen in a newspaper: Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

October 18
Newspaper ad: 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

October 19
Newspaper ad: Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

October 23
Newspaper ad: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

October 24
Whats the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes, whack!...'damn!' And a skydiver goes 'damn!'... whack!

October 25
Newspaper ad: Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Benefits: Blue Cross Medical Insurance and salary.

October 26
Military saying: ``The easy way is always mined.''

October 30
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -- Erma Bombeck

October 31
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers

Back: Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Sept. 19, the 262nd day of 2014. There are 103 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Charles M. Osborn of this city, a lawyer of prominence, who voted for Lincoln in 1860 is now out strong for McClellan and will take the stump for him.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The George Fleming company had begun its dried fruit packing in a branch plant on 16th Street, Rock Island, employing nearly a hundred workers.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The cornerstone of the new Eagles home was laid. Building committee members were John Kobeman, Fred Ehmke and Frank Wich.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Former Kaiser Wilhelm, in exile, is sad as the Nazis march with communists.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Ninety-two members of the acappella choir at Davenport's West High School today accepted an invitation to perform at the New York World's Fair on June 13, 1965.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A Rock Island woman is one of 50 winners of $10,000 in cash in the Illinois State Lottery's "Celebration "89" instant ticket game. Dawn Loeffler was the third winner to be chosen through daily drawings that began Aug. 28 and will run 50 consecutive days.






(More History)