Chuckles for October 2000

October 02
How many Psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes 5 trips

October 03
The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.

October 08
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds demand.

October 10
You've really bought a cheap PC if... 1. All the dogs in your neighborhood start howling whenver you turn it on; the screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"; and the only chip inside is a Dorito.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

October 11
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. (

October 13
Seen in a newspaper: Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

October 18
Newspaper ad: 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

October 19
Newspaper ad: Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

October 23
Newspaper ad: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

October 24
Whats the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes, whack!...'damn!' And a skydiver goes 'damn!'... whack!

October 25
Newspaper ad: Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Benefits: Blue Cross Medical Insurance and salary.

October 26
Military saying: ``The easy way is always mined.''

October 30
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -- Erma Bombeck

October 31
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers

Back: Past Chuckles

Local events heading

  Today is Friday, Aug. 22, the 234th day of 2014. There are 131 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: The ferry boat, Rock Island, having been put in good order at the boat yard is now making her regular trips, much to the gratification of those who have to cross the river.
1889 -- 125 years ago: W.J. Gamble, for many years superintendent of the Moline & Rock Island railway, leased the Fourth Avenue Hotel and renovated and refurnished it throughout.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Pending the building of new public schools or additions to the present ones to provide adequate room for all the children, the board of education decided that pupils younger than 6 years old would not be accepted in Rock Island schools.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The fifth annual New Windsor Fair and Horse show, which has been delayed for two days because of unfavorable weather, got off to a new start last night. The parade was held this morning.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Rock Island County Fair and Rodeo will celebrate its silver anniversary this year. The fair opens Tuesday and will run through Saturday and offers entertainment and activity for young and old.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Earl Hanson School, Rock Island, joins the Program to Assist Latch Key Student, which aids working parents. PALS is a before and after school program for grades 1-6 in certain Rock Island public and private schools.

(More History)